The Life of Richard Loser

Final Post

2010-01-11T14:16:00.016-07:00

Hello friends and family -

This is our (breath) last blog post, as our purpose for its creation comes to an end. Strange enough, we began this journey over a year ago, and how time seems to collapse and fold as we recall the life of our father, from his early years to this last year of his life. We loved him dearly, both as the strong man of his youth, and as the man with terminal cancer. What impact those two words had on us 15 months ago - terminal cancer - and what a change they bring.

Together, we begin the new year with a true and honest freshness, unsure of what the future holds. In spite of the unknown, we stand united as a family in love and faith. We feel the presence of our father in our home, and find comfort and strength in the knowledge that we can be together, as a family, in the eternities. We know dad is with us, and that he is hard at work on the other side of the veil (making lists and communing with nature, no doubt).

It has been a privilege to communicate with so many others through this blog, and we feel it has brought comfort and welcome information to those we care about. We wanted to extend a giant "thank you" for reading it and for participating in our lives this last year by helping and serving us, both spiritually and physically. We know we cannot repay all the generous acts of kindness we have received, so it is our hope, as a family, to take everything we have been blessed with and pay it forward.

We want to give another thank you to all those who have expressed their condolences at dad's passing, and we were touched by the number of family and friends who attended his viewing and funeral services. Thank you for honoring his life and memory with us.

We hope that this last year has taught you all as much as it has taught us: practice your faith, keep your friends, serve others, teach, and revel in the wonders of the natural world. Above all, appreciate your beloveds for who they are, and take time to show them you care. As dad expressed his testimony to the end, so now we express ours: It is true. It is all true.

Love,
The Loser Family

PS: The Mortuary provides an audio recording of the funeral online at http://funeralrecording.com ==> Listen to a service ==> Name: (type in) Loser

Obituary for G. Richard Loser

2009-12-31T12:44:00.006-07:00

George Richard Loser

05/15/1956 - 12/29/2009

G. Richard Loser, loving husband, father, and grandfather, passed away on December 29, 2009 in Alpine, Utah after a valiant 14-month battle with cancer.

Richard was born May 15, 1956 in Sacramento California, to George Henry and Rose Evelyn Loser. He grew up in Garden Valley, California and graduated from Ponderosa High School in 1974. He attended one year of school at Ricks College before serving a two-year LDS mission in Louisville, Kentucky. After his release, he returned to Ricks College where he met, dated, and married Michelle Dickison of Granger, Utah. They were sealed for time and eternity April 27, 1979 in the Salt Lake Temple.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Richard served tirelessly in various leadership positions and callings over the years, including former Bishop, Young Men’s President, and for the last six years, as Scoutmaster of Troop 1088. Richard was known for his love of the outdoors, from rock climbing and river rafting to camping and fishing. He was a lifelong member of The Boy Scouts of America, and recently received the prestigious Silver Beaver award.

The two most important things in his life were the gospel of Jesus Christ and his family, whom he taught to laugh, work, and play hard. He expressed his love of the scriptures and shared his testimony to the end. He will be remembered for his ability to make each person he knew feel important and loved.

He is survived by his wife Michelle Dickison Loser, children Adam (Rachel), Nichole, Benjamin (Jacqueline), Cameron, and Alex Loser, grandchildren Isaac and Brigham, parents George and Rose Loser, grandmother Della Mae Bohall, and siblings Gail (Joe) Barrington, Cindy Loser, Rob (Gerri) Loser, Margaret (Kerry) Evans, and Catherine (Jared) Wood. The family would like to thank those who assisted in Richard’s caretaking, both professionally and personally.

Memorial Services will be as follows:

Friday, January 1, 2010

- Public Viewing 6:00 - 8:00 pm

Saturday, January 2, 2010
- Public Viewing 9:30 - 10:30 am
- Funeral Service 11:00 am
- Internment at Alpine Cemetery

Viewing and Funeral Service will be held by Russon Brothers Mortuary at:
Alpine Stake Center

98 East Canyon Crest Road
Alpine, UT 84004
Map Link

A time of peace

2009-12-30T00:28:00.004-07:00

Tuesday night, December 29, 2009 our Father fulfilled his chapter of mortality. At 5:20 pm he peacefully passed away in his bedroom surrounded by his family. What a special time this is for us. We know he is in a better world and we have faith to join him there soon. We love and miss him.

More details to come regarding his memorial services, but for now a tribute. To my Father, my Dad, my Hero. I Love you.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T15:48:00.007-07:00

Family and Friends,

The Spirit of Christ is rich in the air and rich in our home. Though it is quite cold outside, a calming warmth envelopes our home today. We've relived our traditions of the season for one last time with Dad. It's been a great couple of weeks.

We did a little service project for Christmas for one FHE evening as a family at my home (Adam.) It was great fun, and helping fill the needs of others is always so rewarding. It was also great to have Benj and Jackie home from Oklahoma. Being together as family is the best.

Another night, we gathered together and enjoyed some stew and then loaded into a 15 passenger van I borrowed. Then we were off to see some Christmas lights. Rachel and I had planned the route a few days before. It was a lot of fun. As kids, we would often pile in the Holiday Wagon (appropriately titled - our old Chevy van) and head out to find some really well decorated houses and make plans how we could make ours better. Sometimes the trips lasted late into the night, but we loved to see the lights and feel the excitement of the season.

I'm sure Dad would have gotten into the synchronized light shows - we'll just have to do it for him now. Some fun places we saw: House 1 - The best by far! House 2 - Pretty funny.

Grandpa Loser came into town as well, and with everyone around, we decided it would be appropriate to bless Dad's second grandson, Brigham. It was wonderful to have Dad stand in and exercise the priesthood along side his sons, a circle of 4 generations.

We've had an enjoyable Christmas Eve and Day. We spoke with Cameron, who is in great spirits and working hard in Mexico. Sharing gifts and spending time with family has proven out a great day.

May you all enjoy this Christmas Season and feel the spirit of Christ in your lives.

Love - The Loser Family.

Seasons of Love

2009-12-15T21:42:00.005-07:00

Hello friends and family,

As I Nichole write this post tonight, (for the first time in a long time), my lips meander back to sing a song that’s been pushing around in my head this last month. It’s from a musical called Rent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8iTeDl_Wug

How did you measure this year? Babies? Graduations? Mission calls? Joy? Job loss? Financial strain? Sadness? Fear? Hope?

How do I measure this year? It’s been different than any other year of my life. I don’t know how I will look back on the events of the last 14 months, but I do know that these words speak a small token of truth:

It’s time now to sing out, though the story never ends.

Let’s celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends.

We were literally given a year, quite unexpectedly, and though the eye of yesterday is sharp and sees the mistakes we made, I know I will measure my year in love. In more love than I knew I had.

Our story never ends. Thank you for being a part of this year. Your companionship has made the story worthwhile.

Yours in celebration of the life of a friend,

The Loser Family

Update: 2009-11-19, Reality Check

2009-11-19T06:24:00.008-07:00

Sunday, November 22, 2009 Day 400, Week 57, Month 13 Since Diagnosis
I had a healthy reality check last week on Wednesday. It came in the form of cold, pain, and taking some things for granted. We made the mistake of testing the medications to see how intense the pain really is. By the time we got the pain back under control it was, PAIN = 8, Nausea = 8. I was experiencing withdrawals, and was miserable for about 10 to 12 hours. I learned that I am probably worse off than I thought with regards to the pain overall, and that this pump set-up is serving me very, very well!

I am also having more and more Dear Liza moments, you know the song and scenario- "There's a hole in the bucket Dear Liza, Dear Liza . . . ." Where there is task after task waiting to be done and a failing memory makes even remembering the tasks a challenge let alone how to perform the task. It is happening with medications, insurance, finances, etc. It is just UNBELIEVABLE! It seems like every week I am losing more of my memory and reasoning capability. I find myself standing in a room, sometimes with something in my hand and cannot remember why I am there or what I am doing. Then the discovery moment happens and I recall the steps I had been taking before and after this Dear Liza delirium moment. Sometimes I feel so foolish, even though nobody else is around or knows of my personal embarrassment.

BUT THE REALITY EXPERIENCE is the birth of Brigham John Loser. My visit last night consisted of mostly sobbing in recognition that I have survived my gall bladder cancer long enough to see with my earthly eyes and hold in my earthly arms my second "miracle" grandson. I am blessed beyond my ability to explain and comprehend by a kind, wise, loving Heavenly Father. He knows my needs and my wants and He blesses me with that which I need, and also with that which "brightens the eye and gladdens the heart". My family loves me and is still patient with this poor patient. Our families (Extended Family, R-Family, Neighborhood Family, Ward Family, Friend Families, Etc.) continue to love, serve, and sustain us.

My eyes continue to be bright and my heart is glad beyond belief.

Update: 2009-11-12 , Disconnected

2009-11-12T19:20:00.008-07:00

Thursday, November 12, Day 390, Week 56, Month 13

My health continues to be on the slow downgrade, with my weight continuing to fall off (I now weigh a whopping 124 pounds), the edema (water retention) in my feet and legs continuing to build, nausea continuing to be a nuisance, and so on.

Today has been a so-so day, with pain the issue of the day. My pain has been running at about 5 on the 10-Scale, so I have been hitting the bolus about once every hour or two. The pain is not like the old blockages, but is sharp, constant, and running mid-line abdomen. I rousted out of the sack this "morning" at 11:30 am. I felt like I really could have slept longer . . .

There is a list of recordings I want to do, Christmas lights to organize and get Alex psyched up to put in the yard this year. We are scaling back the lights to a much decreased statement in our yard. This has been a really hard thing for me to let go of. I know in the future I will not be here doing the project- it is just that the idea . . . . There are so many of those "ideas" that are becoming harder and harder to let go of; Christmas lights, the landscaping, video/picture scanning and organization, and so on. This "disconnect" from every day living that my imminent death is causing is weird and in many ways inconceivable. I am going along on some regular project or thought process, then boom, the entire process or project is irrelevant because I am dying.

We continue to persevere in our daily activities. We are sustained and supported in our efforts by your prayers, your fasting, and your interest in our well being. I will continue to decline. My death is getting close. It may come in a couple of months or a couple of weeks. No one in the medical field can tell us when, as it is different for every person. They can only tell us what symptoms to look for as things progress. We pray for faith and courage to face the challenges that lie ahead. We are taking each day as it comes and trying to find joy and happiness in it and in this journey. Thanks for your love- and know that we love you!

Update- 2009-10-20

2009-10-22T19:09:00.019-06:00

Wednesday, October 28, Day 376, Week 54, Month 13

Tuesday last week we had a regularly scheduled visit with the palliative care doctor. This is the doctor who manages my quality of life and particularly my pain. My overall condition continues to decline. It is easy to feel additional hard spots throughout my abdomen which are likely actively growing tumors. Other symptoms of my declining health are losing weight, (about two pounds per week) water retention in my legs and feet, and poor kidney function. I am, however, still able to drink all the slushes I want!

Right now I feel "small." My body physically is shrinking - my arms and legs are small and wrinkled, and I 'm weak. I've been in some denial, like we all have, that the end is closing in, and it's hard to understand what's happening, especially since everyone (doctors, family, friends) keep talking about what a miracle it is I've lived so long.

We are constantly being lifted up by our many loved ones- family, extended family, family friends, ward and neighborhood family- all of you. We are especially sustained by our Savior. He strengthens us daily. Even so, all this love and support doesn't keep all of the anxiety at bay. Michelle and I feel the ache of anticipated separation. We and the children are working at coping with this drawn out process. Even knowing that all of us will die, that everyone loses a loved one at some point in time, doesn't really lessen the pain of my death. But, life does go on and we are being blessed.

So, we embrace each day to see what it will present, how I will feel, what I can bring about, what can be accomplished. We enthusiastically entertain visitors- please call first to assure we are available and presentable. A kind visitor and beloved friend, Krystal Scoresby was greeted while visiting on Sunday evening with a gushing forth of my bowels as I hugged her. Yes, I neglected to plug my G-Tube, and some of my stomach contents- cold water - drained all over her bare feet! I was so embarrassed, but that is where I am these days. Thankfully Krystal was very understanding. Thankfully all our family and friends are understanding of our continuing struggles too! We love you because you also love us . . . ;)

One Year Later.....

2009-10-18T18:37:00.003-06:00

A year ago today, we were all sitting in a hospital in Salt Lake holding hands and saying prayers, coming to grips with the news received the night before. Dad had terminal gall bladder cancer and was given 2-4 months to live.

Now a year later, what a life we have lived. We've experienced and accomplished more in a year than many do in a lifetime. While it has been a different journey for each of us, we have all grown stronger and closer to the resolve of an eternal family. Terminal Cancer brings into sharp perspective the things that matter most. Some items still remain to be checked off on the bucket list, but most are done and for that we are thankful. Thank you to all who have participated in any way in our lives, whether through visits and calls, or prayers and fasting. It has all made a difference.

Surely the Lord will never, no never forsake us. We have been sustained by His almighty hand. We all agree that the time is drawing near, but no one thought Dad would still be with us today. We look forward to what the days and weeks ahead will bring.

In celebration, we spent the day on Strawberry Reservoir with the family fishing with Karl. It has been a while since we all went fishing. Mom and Nichole obliged and had a great day. The weather was beautiful and the fishing was great. We caught 26 fish during the morning we were there. Thanks Karl for being a great guide and friend!

Dad is still losing weight, but is in great spirits. He's down to 130 lbs, and continues to make his homemade slushies and slurpees, which are quite tasty. He sleeps in till about 10 am and then takes a nap in the afternoon. He welcomes visitors and is anxious to give long extended hugs. We would love to have you stop by, just be sure to call first.

The council he's given is still in play. This life is about relationships. Relationships with your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, your friends, your neighbors, and your God. Every day matters in how you build each one. Be a builder!

2009-10-07T07:18:00.024-06:00

Sunday, October 11, Day 360, Week 51, Month 11 since diagnosis-

(I have thrown in a scattering of pictures. They are in no special sequence or meaning, just some fun pictures to look at!)

Easy Rider Bethany Wood & Uncle Rick

on Stephen Story's Trike. By the way did I say it's for rent?

We have had a very busy couple of weeks, many visitors and much to do. We appreciate so much the many condolences and well wishes we have received with the passing of Michelle's father. The memorial services were beautiful, worshipful, and therapeutic for all the family. Thank you and know that we love you.

We enjoyed a Family Council on Sunday evening where we SKYPED (see http://www.skype.com/) Benjamin and Jackie into the meeting from Norman, Oklahoma. They are enjoying all the experiences of typical newlyweds. Believe it or not, Benj got a job at the Little River Zoo in Norman, OK http://littleriverzoo.com/! He is responsible for the care of forty of their predators. Leave it up to Benj to score a job like that! Jackie continues to be active with Women's Sooner Volleyball and school. http://www.soonersports.com/sports/w-volley/okla-w-volley-body.html.

Alex mucking out the back pond for winter hibernation

I continue to "enjoy" my liquid diet. I try to "liquidate" new menu items on a regular basis. Cafe Rio's BBQ Pork Burrito isn't quite the same when "liquidated", if you get my drift! The nightly regimen of TPN keeps me going, but I am losing weight. I am down to 140 pounds. My doctor has increased my steroid medication again, so my "moon" face is coming back in swell form, but the remainder of my body is noticeably wrinkled and thin. Hopefully the energy levels will be swelling along with the face!

Isaac on the 200# giant pumpkin, from our wonderful neighbors

I am experiencing a gradual decline in overall health. My sense of well being is winding down. Nausea still bothers me the most. On the Ten Scale: Nausea= 3, Pain= 2, Overall Well being= 5. We still are welcoming visitors- love our visitors in fact. Please call first though. We have progressed to the point in my care that we are no longer really doing much with the doctors directly. The treatment plan is to manage nausea and pain to enhance our quality of life together, as my life winds down. Life is still great and there is much to do and much life to live. Heavenly Father continues to hold us up . . .

Uncle Bill in Little Valley above Wallsburg with a Rainbow

Isaac & Grandpa playing and fishing at Strawberry

Grandpa Ben. In loving memory...

2009-09-28T08:35:00.002-06:00

On the Loser Newsfront

2009-09-25T17:04:00.011-06:00

Friday, September 25, Day 337, week 48, month 11 since diagnosis-

Hello loved ones. News of note to pass on:

Benjamin Louis Dickison, Michelle's wonderful father, passed away quietly on Friday. The viewing will be Monday evening and the funeral Tuesday mid-morning. Ben fought a terrible battle with multiple potentially deadly diseases (Congestive Heart Failure, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Skin and Prostate cancer) over the past eleven years, but he has finally conquered all and finished the race. Heavenly Father has welcomed him home. His last words to me were "I'll see you in heaven!" I look forward to a poignant reunion with Father Ben in the future.

I have digressed to a liquid diet. Almost every time I attempt to eat solids they come back up in a very fierce way. This indicates that my intestines are basically all tumor-ridden and that the cancer has progressed extensively in my digestive tract. I have tried just chewing, tasting, then spitting out . . . it's not very satisfying! I am sure glad, in retrospect, that Michelle had me make a favorite food list and then made sure I got to have each and every one of the menu items. I miss those days of feasting on delicious recipes and many old familiar favorite flavors.

Currently I am dealing with pain, nausea, lack of energy, and an overall blahness. The pictures don't lie- my weight has fallen to 145 pounds. The palliative care doc has created a new medication regimen to address my issues, and though these are hard things to deal with, they sure could be much worse. (As a note, in the last few days, dad has been experiencing a large amount of pain, and is currently on heavy medication and thus somewhat incoherent).

We are facing the challenges as best we can. I am sleeping more, but still am trying to get out and see and do. Michelle and I went on a Mountain Trike Ride up the Alpine Loop to view the amazing fall colors. Thanks to Stephen Story (AGAIN!) for the amazing Trike he has parked at our house the past three weeks!

I am having fun, still! Life is great! I love, I love hugs, I love kisses, I love all my families, I LOVE! Thank you for your love and support!

- Richard

P.S. Ben Dickison's obituary is located on the right side of the blog...

September 2009

2009-09-24T19:05:00.003-06:00

The month of September has been full of several memorable experiences for our family. Over Labor Day weekend, we had our annual Ricks College Family Reunion in Wallsburg at the Story's Ranch. As seen in the pictures, running the river is always a big hit with the group. Dad had a great time taking Isaac on gator rides.
Last weekend, we had a family reunion with the Loser side of the family again at the Story's Ranch. They have been so generous in allowing us to use it. Thank you Steve and Jan! Grandpa, Cindy, and Bill & Debbie traveled from California to be here with us. We were also joined by Catherine & Jared Wood and DeeDee & Kerry Evans and their families. Friday morning several of us went fishing with Karl to Strawberry Reservoir. Dad allowed Isaac to help drive the boat and he was thrilled! Saturday morning most of the group took a four-wheeler ride up the mountain and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. The rest of the weekend was full of more gator rides, games, and visiting.

We've been grateful Dad has had the energy to do so many things recently despite the fact that the cancer is indeed progressing. A medical update will follow soon.

Washington Lake, Uinta National Forest

2009-09-02T14:57:00.007-06:00

We had the fun opportunity to go to Washington Lake in the Uinta Mountains this past weekend. It has been a favorite family camping spot for the last 12 years or so. We've been going there since before the campground was even there!

We had fantastic weather which has not always been the case. We reminisced about all the fun adventures we had from salamander hunting, to hiking, fishing, biking, tree cutting, bear calling, and many more.

Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa Loser for their use of the motorhome. It made for comfortable accomodations and even Isaac finally had a great nights sleep in it. We played really hard to wear him out so he would sleep. Dad, Alex, Isaac and Adam went canoeing and fishing and caught some fish on Friday. We had a great fireside that night and talked to Dad about some important things we've been meaning to do for a while. On Sat., Rachel and Nicole went out in the canoe and caught some fish too. We did some hiking around the provo river falls and really just enjoyed the beauty of the mountains.
What a beautiful place we live in!

Grasshoppers and Apples on Top

2009-09-01T17:27:00.004-06:00

As promised, here are two clips of some of the activities Isaac and Grandpa love to do together.

Rolling from the heart of the house

2009-08-26T18:51:00.004-06:00

Hello all!
Another day, another message from the Loser home. Things here are about the same, with the occasional addition of random big machines that suck stuff out from dad's stomach. For a long time, dad was having a handful of good days with a bad one thrown in. Lately, it's been a handful of bad days with a good one thrown in. It's all the same stuff, just more (like puking, tiredness, etc). In any case, it's a battle, and one we've been waiting for and expecting.

Dad is still enjoying moments when he gets to sit down and cuddle with Isaac. Those are some of the fun moments he looks forward to in the week. This weekend we are going camping to Washington Lake, one of our favorite family spots. We've had a lot of good times there with friends and family, including the campouts when Benj, Cam, & their cousin Cory camped out overnight on their own little island and were scared of the "bear" noises coming from dad's bucket (you'll have to ask him about it, and how to make them :). Lots of good memories. We thank you for them. We also hope to make some new and lasting memories while we're there this weekend!

Here's a note from dad:
We have had some good moments, in spite of it all. Rachel brought Isaac over on Tuesday after his nap. Isaac and I and our medical support team (you have probably seen our team in the Verizon telephone commercials), went out catching grasshoppers to feed to the frogs and lizards in the window well. We have a little video clip to post of this. He really loves all of the traditional "boy" diversions. Lest you think grandma and grandpa are totally spoiling this manchild, we also have some very tender footage from the recliner I will be sharing, too (in a while - we have to figure out how to get it onto the computer first).

In spite of all the pain and puking, dad looks forward to visitors - just give him a call!
We love you all and cannot say thank you enough for your help, love, and support.

Long days and pleasant nights,
The Losers

2009-08-14T17:03:00.004-06:00

Friday, August 14, Day 295, week 43, month 10 since diagnosis-
Hello loved ones. Time to interject a personal note. This experience is growing more demanding and difficult the longer it goes on. We have been amazingly blessed in a multitude of ways. I have been unmistakenly sustained, most recently throughout Benj and Jackie's wedding week. The goodbye as we sent the newlyweds off to Oklahoma was tearful and difficult, overshadowed by my recent terminal updates.
I, and I think the entire family, are struggling to digest the most recent cancer test results. Although the timing is anyones guess, we are thinking I probably have maybe a couple of months left now. We anticipate a family council on Sunday. I hope that we will collectively be able to reaccess our bucket list and have some new directions, goals, and activities to focus our efforts on. I have been feeling quite at loose ends. Combining the lack of direction/goals with my feeling of mailaise and fatigue (eight on the ten cale) have me in a pretty good funk at the moment. I am working at turning this feeling around! We will keep you posted on our progress . . .

Weddings and Futures...

2009-08-08T14:58:00.012-06:00

Wow! What an exciting time we've all had in the last few weeks. Sorry about the slow posts again - we have been a little busy getting things ready for Benj and Jackie's wedding and for all the things that come with it.

For those of you unable to make it to the gigantic luau/reception, it was amazing! The Fotu family blessed us all in unimaginable ways by providing traditional Tongan foods and entertainment, which made their reception one of the most fun events of the year! We loved every minute of it, and dad seemed to be filled with the buzz of energy and life our guests brought with them - the outpouring of love and excitement was palpable. Sorry if there weren't enough tables for everyone, but as I found, the grass was a good a seat as any. Back when we lived in West Valley, our family fell in love with the unselfish and honorable Polynesian cultures we found there. It is a blessing to have their great happiness and acceptance of Benj, who is the tall, skinny white boy who can't do the Haka (love you Benj, but it was still pretty funny to see you on the stage trying your hardest).

The temple wedding was spiritual and amazing and a dream come true for both

families. The wedding luncheon was fun and filled with music, laughter, and tears of joy and happiness. And the reception? The American Fork Amphitheater is amazing, and was filled with beautiful flowers, smiling people, good food, and fun dancing. For the first time I can recollect (in my "vast" knowledge of wedding receptions), people came and actually stayed. Thank you all for coming and/or supporting us in every capacity (Benj and Jackie are grateful for all of their generous gifts - it's funny how two young, poor people find such bliss in crockpots and bath towels). All in all, it was a wonderful day that we will treasure and remember, both for the blessings it brought our two families, as well as the chance to see all those we love gathered around us.

On a slightly different and dimmer note, dad went back to the doctor this week for a PET CT scan. He hasn't had one since February, and we were interested to see what it had to say about his cancer. It measures the "hypermetabolic activity level" in his body, which is to say that it shows us the places where the cancer is living, growing and thriving. We found a few places where it has actually faded, but mostly there are new growths, and in some places the cancer has almost doubled. It's on his kidneys, liver, abdominal wall, spine, pelvis, pancreas, and lower lung.

He's been very tired and nauseous for the last few weeks, and we have been feeling that the cancer is progressing faster since dad stopped the chemo. He's decided that they aren't going to seek any more chemotherapy, either. As always, we don't have a time frame for all of this. Sometimes cancer grows in a laid back fashion and seems to take holiday for a while, but sometimes it grows like a hungry and desperate beast. For us, it means that we are appreciating the good days that much more.

Benj and Jackie left for Oklahoma on Thursday, where they will be for the next year while Jackie finishes playing volleyball and her bachelors degree in Communications. Since the doctor visit results came before they left, Thursday was quite an emotional day for all involved. We love Benj and Jackie and are excited for them in their new life together! Please help us pray for them, as we pray for all those we love. Including you!

Friends and family, we are so grateful for the love and support you give us. We could not have made it thus far without your very real spiritual and physical strength. You keep us moving when we get stuck. You're like friend-laxatives, or maybe, Fraxatives :)

All our love,
The Losers

Post brought to you by, of course, Nichole

I think Grandpa George got the short end of the stick somewhere...

Happy 24th of July!!!

2009-07-13T10:18:00.017-06:00

Saturday, July 25, Day 280, week 40, month 9 since diagnosis-
Hello loved ones! This is such a roller coaster ride. Each day can be challenging just to get out of the bed or chair and get going with life. The last surgery has been quite difficult to get through with a lengthy recovery. I struggled with pain, energy, and especially nausea for about three weeks. Finally, the weekend of the Fourth was a great couple of days and we enjoyed the holiday with our family and some good friends.
On July 9th we went camping with the extended Loser family to my sister and brother-in-law's (DeeDee and Kerry) mountain property in Sanpete County called the Bighorn Ranch. We took the motor home up to their trailer and had a great time! My other sister Catherine & her husband Jared took our tent trailer up, too. I pretty much laid around in chairs and a hammock and tried to enjoy what everyone else was doing. It was very pleasant and quite enjoyable. The company was wonderful, the food great, and the atmosphere was serene and beautiful. I think everyone had a truly great time and made some wonderful memories!
On Tuesday, July 14th, Michelle and I met with the oncologist to review our action plan. We decided not to pursue any more chemotherapy. The Doctor said that any further chemo benefit would only be about 10-20 percent. Given the negative side effects for me, it just isn't worth the effort. We will monitor the growth of the cancer and when we see a marked increase in the activity we will re-evaluate our position. The doctor is very supportive - at one point during our visit he paused, pushed back from his desk, looked at the ceiling, then turned to us and said, "Are you two okay with all of this? Do you just wish it would end, or you would get better?" Our reply was mixed, but we both acknowledged that we would like him to be able to tell us that we had three months (or some time frame like that) and then we could make definitive plans and move ahead. Of course we know that is not possible for him to do. The doctor said that our visits with him are always easier than he thinks they will be, and he commended us for not seeking every way possible to gain a few extra days of "existence". He said we are doing remarkably well considering all we have already been through. Michelle and I left with mixed feelings once again. Life can be so frustrating!
Thursday and Friday of this week we had a sleepover with the Ricks College Family. All six original couples came for a BBQ dinner at the Loser Home, followed by games, laughter and
reminiscing. Most spent the night, then all were back together for a gourmet breakfast. We are blessed to have such wonderful friends that we really consider family! It was fun and refreshing to be with one another.
Friday afternoon just the Loser family gathered to swim, have dinner, do fireworks in the park out back, and then watch some family videos. It has been a wonderful and memorable holiday. We are truly blessed!
Here are some pictures of the fun things we have been doing-

Movies, Weddings, and Water (oh, and Puking)

2009-06-30T20:56:00.003-06:00

Hello friends and family!
Things haven't changed that much since the last blog update. Dad's had a rough few days with puking and stuff, but he technically doesn't need to eat, so it's not medically that concerning. He's now getting most of his medications via the PICC line, so we know they are working even when he's sick. I guess when he feels nauseous, we're going to start giving him fluids via the PICC line as well, to help keep him hydrated and give him energy.

Things are going well in other areas, too. Alex was ecstatic over the new Transformers movie (he's a typical 16 year old boy). His top 2 favorite movies are now: 1) Transformers #2 - 2) Transformers #1. The irony is that Adam and I used to play Transformers all the time when we were younger, and now it's Alex who talks about Autobots and Decepticons nonstop.

Benj is gearing up for the wedding in five weeks and has been working full time up in Park City with Adam. Speaking of which, congrats to Adam on his new calling. It required the ordination to the office of High Priest, which was a true miracle and blessing (dad was able to ordain Adam and pass on his priesthood lineage, which Adam can now pass on to the other boys). We were grateful to be able to participate in the experience, and hope it won't keep Adam too busy :)

I've (Nichole) been having fun with my aunt Lisa in scuba diving lessons (minus bloody noses. Oh, and inner-ear pressure headaches. Oh, and the panicked feeling that comes when you just swallowed water. Through your nose.)

We are grateful for the experiences that remind us we are alive, only human, and those times when we realize how incredibly blessed we are. Be grateful you can eat through your mouth.

Love,
The Losers

Home at last...

2009-06-20T00:21:00.002-06:00

Hello all!
Here' s another update from the Losers:

Dad is back home from the hospital now (he got back yesterday evening), and it's been an interesting two weeks. He has two ostomy sites, one G-tube, one PICC line, and a belly full of staples at the moment. He's feeling better, but still in some pain (which is to be expected - he's hauling around like 200 lbs of medical equipment lately). We are running the TPN in the evenings, and dad is still able to eat, so he's feeling better with all this unexpected nutrition, too.

With all the new stuff going on, the doctors want dad to keep records of EVERYTHING that has ANYTHING to do with his body. It's a little annoying, trying to keep it all straight. Now was that 270 calories of urine, or 2 milligrams of calories? I don't know anymore - it's like word vomit at the moment.

Overall, dad's happy to be home. Oh, and something I personally think is funny? Dad's PICC line is in his left arm, and the TPN runs at night, so guess who had to change sides of the bed after 30 years of marriage? Mom said that she woke up in the middle of the night and had no idea where she was. I wish I could have seen her try to figure that out :)

Thank you to all those who visited and stayed at the hospital with dad. Mom and I couldn't have done it alone. Also, thank you for your continued concerns, thoughts, and prayers. We are looking forward to this Sunday when we can spend Father's Day at home, with our family.

Treasure your fatherly moments.
All our love,
The Losers

Hospital Schmospital (can I get two of those, please?)

2009-06-11T18:30:00.005-06:00

Hello all,

Today is Friday, June 12th, and dad just got out of surgery. He's been here at the hospital for a bowel blockage that started out annoying and developed into a full obstruction. So, yesterday, we finally talked to the surgeon Dr. Griffin (the same one who took out dad's colon and found the cancer in October). He wanted to do surgery, but also wanted to know more about where the blockage was and had dad do a whole bunch of tests he's not done before. The doctor decided it was important to do the surgery asap, so dad went in today around 3:30 pm.

When Dr. Griffin came out, this is the story he told us:

Dad's cancer is wide spread on his intestines, and there were several blockage sites where his guts were twisted with scar tissue and tumors. As a result, Dr. Griffin couldn't separate his intestines without doing a lot of damage, so he left them as they were. Instead, he

1) moved down along dad's intestines from his stomach as far as he could (leaving 2-3 feet of good intestine) and created a new ileostomy on the other side of his stomach. Yes, he now has two. This means that he can eat still, and the 2-3 feet aren't tumor-ridden. It also means he doesn't have enough intestine to survive off of regular eating habits.

2) "installed" a G-tube (Gastric-tube) that is a drain directly from the stomach out through the abdomen wall - it's permanent and sticks out of his stomach. If dad has any more bowel problems, he can hook up the G-tube to a vacuum machine that sucks out any blockages at home; this keeps us out of the hospital in the future.

3) put in a PICC line (he had one before - it's a central I.V. that stays in his arm all the time). They did this because dad needs nutrition, and he will be starting this great program recommended by his new firecracker nutritionist (who has decided to be a strong advocate for him). It involves this cool substance called TPN (Total Parental Nutrition) which is a feeding liquid they create specially for dad's needs. It goes in through the PICC line for 12 hours at night and is like a complete diet; dad won't need to eat when he's on the TPN, but he still wants to try the new KFC baked chicken. Dad's incision is about twice as long as it's been before, so he's probably going to be in the hospital for at least another five plus days.

I know, I know, it's a lot to take in. At least it is for us. Two bags to change, two new appendages.

Same dad. We love him.

Thank you,

The Losers

Hospital Update . . .

2009-06-09T20:04:00.007-06:00

Thursday, June 09, Day 234, week 33, month 7 since diagnosis-

Well, I had that nasty dang NG (Nasal Gastric) tube inserted late Sunday night after admission to the hospital @ IMC again. Around 1:30 today my nurse said I was approved for clear liquids. At about 6pm today I got the NG tube removed. It's amazing what a psychological boost it is just to get the tube out! I've been up and walking yesterday and today, trying tto help things move along. If I am able to tolerate the clear liquids, I will hopefully get to eat some soft foods tomorrow. I've lost 8 pounds in the last week and am feeling quite fatigued from fighting the pain and nausea. None of the doctors are anxious to do surgery, especially since they just had me opened up 6 weeks ago, so we pray this decompression takes care of the blockage. If all goes well, I hope to be discharged from the hospital on Thursday or Friday.

We did get some new tumor marker results last Thursday. For the first time since we started chemo back in November, it went up a litlle. Not too significant, but an indicator that we still have a battle to fight. We continue to be grateful for every good day and pray for more to come.
Thanks again for your calls, visits, prayers and expressions of love and concern.

Richard

Happy Hospital Sunday

2009-06-07T21:22:00.002-06:00

Hello everyone! Thank you for your devotion in reading this blog - we don't post nearly often enough, but try when we can. I know, I know, Yoda said, "Do or do not. There is no try;" but he was at least 800 years old when he said that. It takes time to learn those lessons...

We are posting from the hospital - yep, back again. Dad's got a partial small bowel blockage that's been painful since last Sunday. Instead of opting for surgery right away (every time he gets opened up, the chances of having a blockage as a result later on are like 60%), he is going to stay and be on IV fluids to try and let the blockage pass on its own. If that doesn't work in a few days, we'll try an NG tube (down his nose, into his stomach) and as a last resort, go into surgery.

So life goes on. There's nothing like having to give a complete medical history five times in five hours. Unless it's listening to the person in the next room puking.

We'll keep you posted.

All our love!

The Losers

(Post brought to you by Nichole)

The Results . . . .

2009-06-01T20:48:00.007-06:00

Monday, June 01, Day 225, week 32, month 7 since diagnosis-

Friday, May 22nd we took the motor home camping in the Uinta Mountains. We stayed on the East Fork of the Duchesne River above Hanna, Utah. We stayed in Hades Campground, yes we've been to "hell" and back. It rained every day, but Monday, which turned out just gorgeous as we left . . . However, the motor home made even the rain enjoyable as it pattered down on the roof. We were all snug and dry in warm, comfortable beds. Excepting Alex, who opted to spend the first two nights outside alone in a hammock. He loved sleeping (nesting)in the hammock, even outside alone and under a tarp! It is a very pretty area, at the base of the mountains below the trailhead to the Granddaddy Lakes. We stayed through Monday, going to church in Tabiona on Sunday, and enjoying the beauty of spring in the forest and mountains. It was a great trip, and we made some fond memories.

On Tuesday, May 26th I had a CT scan, followed by an appointment with the oncologist on Thursday, the 28th. The scan showed the disease is stable, and the Tumor Marker is down again. So, the doctor says I am doing very well! Great news! I was actually expecting to hear something different as I have not been feeling well since Sunday- Pain=5, Fatigue=7, Nausea=5, throwing up twice on Monday. I really thought the cancer was entering the next stage. I guess it's just the flu virus that is circulating right now. The hard part of life right now is not knowing what to expect each day. When some new "ache, pain, or symptom" comes along, we don't know if it is the next step in the disease, or just a "normal" bug that is going around. We are trying to take each day positively as it comes and be grateful for the good ones.

Friday, we celebrated Michelle's 50th birthday with an open house, organized by Nichole. The day was a "landmark" day, and we wanted to make it special. So, Nichole sent out an email to everyone in our address list, inviting them to come and party. It was great and many friends and family came by to celebrate the evening with us. Thank-you Nichole for pulling the openhouse off, and thank-you to all our loved ones who came to celebrate!

Birthday Update . . .

2009-05-15T03:57:00.017-06:00

Friday, May 15, Day 141, week 21, month 6 since diagnosis-
I thought not to be here for my 53rd birthday, but here I am still!

We had a small procedure requiring a few stitches performed at the surgeon, Dr. Price's office during my visit on Tuesday this week. We have been having bag leak issues with resulting at least daily bag changes because there was a lot of mucus leaking.

I am still tired from the trip to CA-OR-WA-ID-WY, but happy I was able to go be with extended family on a more positive note. The last visit was very sober and in some ways shocking to the California families. I left with much happier feelings this time. Now, it is good to be home and with my family again. Mom and Dad have provided their 31' motor home to us so we can do some family camping in conscience and build some additional family end of life memories per our latest bucket list . . .

Happy May!

2009-05-12T12:18:00.004-06:00

Hello everyone!
Here we are in May, and we haven't posted in several weeks. We apologize - things have been hectic and changing, as they are for everyone.
Here's an update on how things are going at the Loser home:
* Dad had his staples taken out from the surgery on April 28th, and the surgeon said everything looks great! He reported that there aren’t really a lot of tumors on dad’s intestines, which was great news. We’ve heard that bowel blockages toward the end are horrible. He and mom also met with the oncologist, who told them that things are going well. He did note that there is a new area of tumor growth on the bottom of dad’s lung, so that’s a spot we’re going to have to watch out for. They also decided as a team to stop the chemotherapy – it was just too draining for dad, and we want him to have a good quality of life rather than extend his life with months of exhaustion and puking. Otherwise, dad’s recovering nicely. He attributes his quick bounce back to the epidural he had for the surgery (and you thought only preggos got ‘em) :)
* Mom’s wrist is doing fine – it’s pretty funny, I have to say, to watch her do stuff with only one hand. I tell you folks, she’s almost ambidextrous now! By the way, don’t make fun of her if her hair looks bad – it’s either one-handed, or dad-as-a-stylist (and no one wants to see that).
* By the way, as far as family news is concerned, we wanted to make sure that everyone knows that Benj and Jackie bumped their wedding back to August 1st because they wanted to wait until the hottest time of the year. Just kidding, more family and school- timing stuff to work through. We also wanted to pass on the news that Adam and Rachel are preggo again! We are sooo very excited, and hope that once again, the child looks like Rachel. Sorry Adam. I still love you.
* We were very excited to talk to Elder Cameron this last Sunday for Mother’s day. He sounded serious, which I know is hard to imagine, but he’s doing well and doesn’t have the swine flu. In fact, he believes it’s a scam by the Mexican government. It’s been hard to work around the Sunday meeting cancellations, but he said they are just going to have to work that much harder in the next few weeks. He wanted us to give his love for everyone!
* Dad’s dad (Grandpa George) came out to visit from California, so dad (Richard) decided to take a little trip back with him. Here’s a note about the experience:
“So life goes on and so must we work while the sun is still up and shining. I decided to make a trip to California to visit family again, this time on a more positive note. We had a great family BBQ and visit, made some fun surprise visits on doorsteps and in front rooms, and we saw a lot of country (some incredibly beautiful and scenic) in between. Now I am back home and feeling a bit worn and frayed. It was great to visit family, some of whom I have not seen for 10-12 years.” Overall, dad’s feeling pretty good, considering. We were glad he could say goodbye to some of those relatives.
Thank you all once again for your love and support. We’re glad none of you have the swine flu, and that the world didn’t end.
We love you. We love the beautiful earth. And most of all, we love mom’s homemade spare ribs. Um, um, good.
The Losers
This post is brought to you courtesy of Nichole...

Weekend post, Today- "Normal"

2009-04-25T18:19:00.013-06:00

Sunday, April 26, day 189, week 27, month 6 since diagnosis-

Life at home is back to "normal". Michelle and I are both in recuperation mode and trying to help care for one another. Of course family is here and stepping up to meet our needs. Life goes on . . .

I am in some pain and discomfort as I recover from surgery. Pain is hovering around four or five on a consistant basis, but for the most part I am able to be somewhat active. My recovery has been much faster this time around compared to the other three surgeries, I think due in large part to the epidural used during anesthesia. Even having a larger (6")mid-line incision, the hospital stay was much less painful and I was able to rest and walk more and sooner. Both have contributed to a speedy recovery process. Not to say that this surgery hasn't been a setback. Last night I experienced some anxiety about 3:00am. I was tossing and turning and having night sweats. After an early first breakfast cinammon roll and some Andy Griffeth Show, I was able to go back to bed and sleep, though fitfully. I wonder what lessons I still need to learn from all these experiences . . .

As always we feel sustained by your prayers, love, and faith. Thank-you for your continued concern for our welfare. We are grateful for your love and affection.

Everyone is back home . . .

2009-04-23T08:44:00.015-06:00

Wednesday, April 22, Day 185, week 26, month 6 since diagnosis-

While in Park City at dinner we had a classic "Loser" moment. All of you are aware of the Germanic orgins of our somewhat awkward last name-

LOSER.

I had created a family logo several years ago, to identify our family, and to maybe at some level push back on society on the hassle any and all of us have received through the years over our last name. For example if you phonetically sound out Adam's name you get the following "A'-Dam'-Looser".

So, I made up this logo in bright, shiny mountain colors, and had it nicely embroidered on several shirts. I like an extra heavy, long-sleeve, mock turtle tee shirt. This particular shirt I had on during dinner Friday up in Park City was a bright white tee. Our waiter early on, stopped as he was leaving and said, "Sir, I just have to tell you I think that is one of the most awesome shirts I have ever seen anyone wearing." We all looked at one another, looked at my shirt, then burst out laughing. We explained it was our family name and family logo, and was PRONOUNCED- "LOW'SIR"! We laughed until we had the tears running. It was a memorable moment in true Loser lore.

Back to the news at hand . . . .
At 2:10pm today, I was finally discharged from the IMC (Intermountain Medical Clinic) after much delay and some infighting between which department had authority over Richard Loser- the surgical team that operated on me and admitted me to the hospital, or the Oncology Team that has been caring from me as a terminal cancer patient for the past six months. in the meanwhile I received a newly prescribed Fentanyl trans dermal patch put on yesterday at 1:20p, had my epidural turned off and capped at 3a this morning, had the epidural removed at 11a, the friendly Foley catheter removed at 11:30a, and showered! Whoohoo! It was all good, as I got out of the hospital fray and was in the warm, bright sunshine!!!

Meanwhile, back at home, on Tuesday, Michelle underwent some minor surgery on her hand. Several months ago in late September, while running she had taken a rather nasty fall on the road. She ended up being diagnosed with 1st CMC Joint Capsulodesis, or Joint laxity of the CMC Joint on her right hand. Bottom line is it was painful, sometimes extremely painful, to hold or manipulate with her right hand. It also hurt to perform a lot of repetitive movements involving the thumb on her right hand. Michelle needed surgery to correct the injury, as it was not going to heal on it's own.

Michelle's hand had been getting progressively worse since October. The surgery is about a 35 minute procedure. After surgery she will be in a soft cast for a week or two. Then Michele will be in a hard cast for two weeks, followed by a splint and Physical therapy. So her recovery from this "minor" procedure will be quite protracted. She doesn't want to be in a cast for Benj & Jackies wedding, so we went ahead and had her do the surgery now. The surgwery had already been scheduled and postponed once. You know how we Loser's are. We must keep life hopping, interesting and planning the next full measure of liveliness and activity!

I was released from the hospital yesterday about 2:00pm. It was such beautiful day to ride home. The weather was close to 80 degrees, clear, bright, sunny day. I was sweating by the time we got home because I had on fleece PJs and a long-sleeve mock turtle neck heavy Tee shirt. I sat in the back yard in a gravity lounge chair and enjoyed the greenery, the spring bulbs, and the fresh air. I also enjoyed the fact that I knew there would be no "ministering angel nurses" coming in every hour on the hour from 7p to 7a to wake me up to see if I was still breathing.

I came home from the hospital with my Father, George Loser. He happened to be visiting Utah from Loomis, CA where my sister DeeDee Evans, and my nieces Megan Wood and Kadee Evans had been visiting for spring break. Dad spent the night with me at the hospital, then escorted me home. We are discussing future travel plans and bucket list activities . . .

I came home to a nicely fertilized green lawn, and gorgeous blooming bulbs of fifty or more varieties, soft pastel purple Drumstick Primroses, heavily fragrant Hyacinths, brilliant Daffodils and Tulips, and more than I can number here. The pond-a clean, clear cascade pond in the front yard with new additions- Koi, Goldfish, and freshly imported Loomis Water Hyacinth. An overwintered California Newt emerged from hibernation, and was in the front Cascade pond already. The back yard Zen pond was sporting freshly emerged from hibernation Pacific Tree Frogs. The Pacifics have been chorusing fro a week -and-a-half now. They have already made several large egg deposits back there. The yard in general, and the pond in particular looks great! A great big hug of thanks and gratitude for all of Benjamin's hard work, and the resulting sunburn! He was all day on the pond in his swimming suit only . . .

Michelle's mother Carol and sister Kathy came visiting with two dinners, flowers, and well wishes. They are such wonderful and kind people. We enjoyed them so very much in Hawai'i. We al remarked as we hugged in greeting that we would all be bak in Hawai'i in a heartbeat if circumstances permitted. It was a magical and fairytailish experience for each of us. Thanks for the love you two are sharing with us!

Then, about 6:30p the entire Young Men's group shows up at our house with rakes, gloves , and grins to tackle our yard spring clean up chores. Weed pulling, dead leaf gathering, Raspberry transplanting, dead turtle removal/disposal, frog egg relocation, and general sprucing up of the Loser plantation to place by a motivated and diligent crew. Afterwards, rousing game of football/rugby was enjoyed in the park out in back, then punch and smores in the fire pit on our back patio. The last of the YM and Leaders left at about 9:20p. Thank-you, thank-you young men and leaders for your hard, prickly, and dirty work in our yard! It looks great, and would have taken our family several Saturdays and weeknights to accomplish all you did in a few hours! You are great and wonderful priesthood servants of our Heavenly Father, and He loves you and I, as a man love you all dearly. Our family love you all so much! You have been, and will continue to be an intimate and integral part of my life, and of our Loser Family life!

Surgery

2009-04-20T10:20:00.010-06:00

Friday night we celebrated my six month anniversary since diagnosis with dinner out. About 8pm I began to feel some tightness and distention in my abdomen. By midnight I was in pretty severe pain. It was an unwelcome, familiar, and escalating pain. The bowel blockage from back in October had reoccurred. At 1:30am Nichole and I left for the hospital. I was admitted by 7am. I was in surgery at 6pm for 3 hours.

The surgeon tried to lapriscope the procedure, but ended up performing a 6" midline incision to get to the problem areas. The doc cleared up several areas where there was scar tissue causing strictures of the bowel. Some of the scarring actually caused the bowel to severely kink, which is what caused the blockage. The doc removed considerable material from the bowel, which was extremely inflamed and swollen. The end result was immediate relief.

I was able to sleep through the night, and by yesterday I was sitting in a chair visiting with family and walking laps on the floor. Today, Monday, I am feeling very good. The doc has me on clear liquids, moving to soft foods later in the day, and possibly going home tomorrow! I had an epidural for this surgery, and I am amazed at how quickly this procedure has been moving.

I feel sustained by the prayers and faith of so many people. Not that this is easy or pleasant in any way shape or form. Nor do we wish to be the continued focus of attention for so many people. But, the Lord seems determined to use us for His wise purposes, so we try to be meek and submissive. We are blessed by a very kind, wise Heavenly Father to be surrounded by His ministering angels. We look forward to some visits at home later in the week.

Thank you for your continued prayers and concern for our welfare. We love you all!

Park City- Escala Getaway

2009-04-19T08:58:00.009-06:00

The entire family has spent this past week in Park City at a beautiful four bedroom condo (Adam is the project manager for Escala). From 80 degrees in Kapalua, HI, to snow storms in the hottub and 28 degrees in Park City, UT-
We have been spending Spring Break together celebrating the past six months. We wanted this family time in a relaxing and different setting. These condos are very, very nice. Isaac has really enjoyed the hottub/pool and swimming and just playing with grandparents, Coley, and Alex. Grandpa and grandma have enjoyed a lot of one-on-one time with Isaac. We have been playing games, visiting, and just relaxing together. Life is beautiful, we are enjoying it, and we are a happy family!
We acknowledge that your love, faith, and prayers have helped make this possible for me to still be here! We are so grateful and thank-you with all our hearts and souls!

Note: (At 1:30 am Saturday I ended the week in the hospital, with surgery last night for a bowel obstruction at the Intermountain Medical Center. All went well. I am looking forward to a quiet four or five day hospital recovery stay. I would prefer to postpone any visits until later in the week.
I will post more later with details . . .

A Treat!

2009-04-12T00:55:00.028-06:00

Saturday, April 12, Day 149, week 23, month 5 since diagnosis-

A lifelong young friend, Rick Elder surprised me today, stopping by for a visit with about $20.00 worth of fresh Alaskan King Crab Legs. We steamed half and ate half cold, the steamed part with drawn butter, and and the cold with cocktail sauce. Umm, umm good! What a great young man! Rick seems to know how I feel about good food too! Thanks Rick, for a great visit with a good friend, and for the great treat!

On Thursday this week we received a nifty box from San Francisco- several round loaves of fresh San Francisco Boudine Sour Dough French Bread Soup Bowels and several cans of San Francisco Clam Chowder. Courtesy of my brother Robert Loser's family in Fiddletown, CA. and their thoughtfulness and generosity. We enjoyed the soup bowels that night, and reminisced of the lunch we had at the Pacifica Pier back in November last year. Thanks Bro!

It seems like these steroids I am on would have me eating 24 hours a day. Food tastes great again (the effects of the chemotherapy are slowly wearing off) and I am craving all sorts of things. If you hadn't noticed while in Hawai'i, food was an important element of just about everything we did. We researched and then tracked down the famous speciality restaurants, and the hole-in-the-wall places that were renown for some particular treat or meal. Life is pretty good for me right at the moment.
Michelle & Richard at the Turtle Bay Resort on Oahu's North Shore.

We may not be going back to the chemotherapy treatments. I may be burning the candle out at both ends, and losing ground to the cancer, but my quality of life is so much better. I am feeling truly blessed and able to be doing so much more of what life is all about.
Now, if we can just get Michelle feeling better. She has been struggling with some sinus infection or major allergy issues during and since Hawai'i. I have been feeling better than she has. . . .

Thanks to Dave Petersen Here is a link to a Gmail feature called Picassa where you can view pictures and video clips from our Hawai'i trip. It is like an elecrtronic photo album. feel free to view and download any of our pictures here. http://picasaweb.google.com/Petersendk1

Continuing where I left off . . . . .

2009-04-07T03:27:00.029-06:00

Tuesday, April 07, Day 144, week 21, month 5 since diagnosis-

Kapalua- Loveland Home-
- 7:50am Michelle and I walked the trail to the East end, about 1.5 miles each way
- 2:30pm Michelle was down with one of the worst migraine headaches she has ever had. Comforted her with ice packs and put her down for a nap.
- Part of the group; Kathy, Dave, Scott, MaryJane, and I went to scout out snorkeling locations:
- Honolua Bay in a National Marine Sanctuary and Preserve,
- Mokule'ia Bay (Slaughterhouse Beach) Recommended by MaryJane. (She had snorkeled there with turtles and dolphins in the early morning on a previous trip).
- Honolua Valley Kathy re-named the little valley and trail to the beach her "Jurassic Park". Incredibly scenic huge contorted limbed trees, including Banyans, giant Philidendron vines, rain forest lush greenery. You expected to see Tarzan's tree house in the next huge tree you saw. Unfortunately we ran out of time to get MaryJane and Scott in the water as they had to leave for home by 6:30pm. So we returned home, had a chicken alfredo dinner and sent Scott and MaryJane very reluctantly on their way home. So sad for their stay to end!
-Tuesday-
Kapalua- Loveland Home-
- 6:20 am First breakfast and scripture study.
- 7:05 am Humpback Whale sightings
- 8:30 am Had second breakfast
- 9:45 am Driving the car,/em> Kahakuloa Village-
14.5 miles east from the house on Highway 30
4 miles of one-lane narrow winding road. First time I have seen 5 MPH Speed Limit signs!
- Passed a seven year old boy with his BB gun,accompanied younger girls. He was shooting chicken chicks in neighbor's yard and proudly showing us his kill!
- I bought three loaves of famous Julia's Banana Bread (one fresh eating, 2 freezing for Alpine), coconut candy, (I have learned to like fresh coconut stuff in Hawai'i), and freshly dried mangos.
- Dave and Lisa made similar purchases from Julia's niece at the "Green Stand"
- Got directions to "Maka????hema-whosit" waterfalls (three miles further . . .)
Lower Makamaka"ole Falls- eight-and-a-half miles further on the one-lane narrow winding road - really all the way to the end where civilization started again, then back a couple miles. We hiked half a mile from the road, past several very scenic pools, wild banana trees with fruits, and surreal landscape! Then continuing downstream, climbing 20 feet down Banyan tree roots, to the top of a beautiful 40+ foot waterfall. Then the long slow plod back up to the car.
- Dave drove the car heading west for home.
- Noted distances and locations of Olivine Pools and Nakalele Blowhole on the way home.
- Lunched, napped then got ready to go snorkeling
Honolua Bay - two miles east on Highway 30-
- 3:45pm left with entire group and all support gear
- FINALLY got in the water, only lasted about 35-40 minutes before getting really chilled.
- Found an underwater digital camera, a Wrist HERO- see to the picture and description to the right of this posting. Some poor soul lost $150.00 camera and the 50-60 pictures on it. Leaving a note for the owner if they come back looking for it!
- back home for dinner, games, relaxing
-Wednesday-
Kapalua- Loveland Home-
- 6:30am First breakfast and scripture study.
- 6:45am Humpback Whale sightings
- 8:30am Replaced a leaking bag!@##@
- 10:20am Went to Honolua Store for second breakfast, which ended at 10 am @##@!
- 11:05am Left Michelle resting, Kathy and Carol shopping, Dave,
Lisa and I sightseeing. I rode in the back seat of the car on top of the snorkeling gear bag with the wind in my thinning gray hair! It was like a guided tour trip!
Nakalele Blowhole- eight miles east on Highway 30- 60-70" spoutings, huge breakers, Way cool! Way windy!
Olivine Pools- another eight miles east- The surf was too high to get in the pools, but the power and intensity of the breakers was breathtaking and beautiful. I was bragging about keeping my socks dry as I was standing behind a ten foot high ledge when a thirty foot high spray from a huge breaker soaked me. It was incredible, and on video!
Honolua Bay - viewed from the highway above the bay, we determined our efforts to snorkel the day before were about 150 yards off the mark. It was decided it was too late to make another snorkeling attempt, so we returned home to lunch, finish packing the group, maybe go for one last walk on the beach, and then sadly for them take the family to the airport.
-Thursday-
Kapalua/Oneola Beach- Loveland Home- Just had a low key morning.
- 3:45am Got up to go to the bathroom, couldn't sleep. Michelle was
awake too. At 4:30am we got up and walked on the beach in our pajamas. There were tiny phosphorescent (glow-in-the dark) creatures in the waves and on the beach. They looked like stars in the sky only they were on the sand. It was pretty cool looking!
- 5:30am Went back to bed
- 10:00am Walked down to the small point at the east end of the beach behind the house and looking to make a relaxing rememberance place. Spent about one-and-a-half hours on a ledge six or seven feet from the breakers. Watched three Sea Turtles struggling in the surge trying to find a sandy beach, but stuck in a rough/rocky surf zone.
Returned home for lunch, and a nap.
Honolua Bay- 3:27pm Left Michelle napping, changed into snorkeling gear and went to leave a note about an underwater digital camera I had found on Tuesday. Then I snorkeled where we had scouted from above and had a thousand- fold better experience! I felt so bad that Dave and Lisa missed the real deal by a couple hundred yards! Returned home about 5:45 for a drive to Lahaina. Missed a photo op for a Maui sunset- dang!
-Friday-
Kapalua/Oneola Bay- Loveland Home- Breakfasted and studied scriptures at the small point at the west end of the beach. I video recorded some messages for posterity. All in all it was a Low-key day, lunch, cleaned some, napped and enjoyed the experience!
Honolua Bay- 3:00pm Left to take Michelle snorkeling! After about a ten minute adjustment period on a boogie board, she was paddling around in utter amazement. The diversity, beauty, and close proximity entirely overcame her inhibitions and anxiety turned to astonishment and she became truly lost in the moment. We snorkeled for about an hour-and-a-half before I tired out and began to get chilled. Michelle could have stayed out much longer, but I couldn't convince her to. We were reviewing a fish identification card that pictured about 60 different coral reef fishes and other reef animals, then gave up deciding we had seen all of them and many more! we then headed home and had a relaxing evening.
-Saturday-
Kapalua- Loveland Home- Had a quiet morning.
Lipoa Point- 7:15am Four miles east of the house on highway 30. Read scriptures with the sunrise. Returned home and walked down to the small point at the west end of the beach again to video more messages.
- 10:00am Watched the afternoon session of General Conference
- Lunched and left for the east side of Maui
Kahului- Went to the swap meet to buy an extra piece of luggage for our many purchases, and to check out locally made souveniers at reasonable prices.
Highway 36, the Road to Hana- 1:15pm with the top down on the car and a wonderfully smooth and comfortable ride, we cruised out the road to Hana. Incredible diversity of strange trees, foliage, in this rain forest. There were some taro-like Elephant Ear plants of some kind with leaves three feet wide and six feet or more long! The birds we heard along the way were like you would hear at the San Diego Zoo, or in some nature documentary. It was an encompassing experience. I had marked off several waterfall hikes but I did not feel up to much walking. We made it out to mile marker 17, nearly to the Halfway-To-Hana point.
Ke'anae, a tiny village- We parked for several minutes on the point here in wonder at the sea crashing against shore. We were right at eye level with the surf. The stark contrast between rolling azure ocean, brilliant celestial white breakers, and raw black lava columns and ledges gave pause for pondering. We created another rememberance location to visit in times of stress or anxiety.
- 4:25pm we started back for home.
Wahinepe'e Trail- 5:05pm We stopped and did a short ten minute hike into an inconceivably thick Bamboo and Eucalptus forest. It was a grove of two to three inch thick Bamboo growing 35-50 feet tall. You could not walk through the Bamboo the trunks were so close together.
- It was a long drive back home, knowing we had only one more day left in Marvelous Maui.
-Sunday-
Kapalua- Loveland Home- 6:00am Raised the TV at the foot of the bed and watched the Sunday morning session of General Conference. Napped, breakfasted, and cleaned.
- 10:00am Watched the Sunday afternoon session of General Conference. Napped, lunched, and did final laundry.
Took a final round of pictures of the house and yard.
Lipoa Point- 3:45pm We enjoyed one last walk/hike to a small isolated beach where the expert surfers go. Very picturesque, and pristine.

We then topped off the gas in the car and returned home for dinner, during which we had to change out a leaking bag. What bad timing. We missed our last Maui sunset photo opportunity, and it was a gorgeous one too!
- 7:25pm We left for the airport, about forty minutes later than we had planned. Stress was higher than we had wanted. Our Marvelous Maui experience was over. Our flight ended up being delayed from 9:10 to 9:40 so we had a bit more relaxed airport experience.
- 9:35pm We left an unreal Marvelous Mortal Maui to travel to a real Heavenly Home, a journey of about six hours, where loved ones waited whom we were anxiouus to see after 15 days seperation.

The Hawai'i 30th Anniversary Trip final wrap-up
We thank all the family, family friends, neighborhood family, and ward family, whose prayers, fasting, efforts, generosity, and physical support made this experience possible. I have felt better physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I have in many, many months, perhaps even a year or more. I wish to convey a special thanks to Dave and Kathy Peterson, and Carol and Lisa Dickison who accompanied us and shared in these incredible events and memories. Mere words cannot communicate the appreciation and gratitude we all feel to Lynette Loveland for the contribution of her Kapalua home for our use. She has acted so generously that I am reminded of the scripture found in John 14:2-4, where she has become my "personal savior at Kapalua". Thank you Lynette. Thank you Jim and Laurie. We love you.

Of course we know the source of all these ministering angels we are surrounded by, and we thank our Heavenly Father for His love and compassion. He has provided not only that which we need for salvation and exaltation, but He has also blessed us with that which "brightens the eye and gladdens the heart." We are so blessed!

Aloha from Hawai'i!

2009-03-30T08:50:00.008-06:00

Monday, March 30, Day 137, week 20, month 5 since diagnosis-
Where to begin? We began talking about additions to our "bucket list" about five weeks ago and decided to throw out the possibility of a Hawai'i 30th anniversary trip. The doc suggested not waiting until April 27, but that we should go ASAP. We began planning- here we are in HEAVENLY Hawai'i!
The tender mercies of the Lord just keep flowing our direction. This blessing and so many others, coming in large measure due to the Lord placing so many ministering angels around us in our day to day life- family, family friends, ward and neighborhood family. How we dearly and deeply love you all!
I am incredibly blessed to be feeling very good and have been able to enjoy this trip enormously. (I have used the wheelchair at the airport, the War Memorial, the PCC, but have been walking lots too.) We are accompanied by a wonderful family support staff of Michelle's older sister and her husband Kathy & Dave Petersen from Centerville, UT, and Michelle's mother, Carol Dickison from West Valley City, UT, and Michelle's younger sister Lisa Dickison from the Millcreek area of Salt Lake City, UT. None of the group have ever been to the islands of Hawai'i before. What a trip we are having!
We arrived last Sunday March 22nd on a direct flight from SLC to Kahului on Maui arriving at 2:38 pm. Following is a brief itinerary:
-Sunday- 7:00pm We all toured the Loveland's LOVELY home, BEWILDERED by our blessings and the tender mercies of the Lord being indelibly marked in our lives in such temporal and mortal ways. We are in a HEAVENLY home here in an EDENLIKE earthly setting!
-Monday- 6:45am Recover, recuperate, absorb, settle-in, hotubbed, walked the beach and boardwalk, ate, relaxed.
-Tuesday- 7:45am More of kicking back. Napped. Enjoyed trying to soak it all in! Packed for an early start at 4:30am tomorrow.
-Wednesday- 7:45am We flew to Oahu
Honolulu-
Pearl Harbor War Memorial- The Arizona was a spiritual experience.
The Bowfin submarine was incredibly interesting.
The Missouri overwhelmed me. The superstructure stairs did me in.
La'ie- We had planned to go to the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC)- no time.
Checked in the Turtle Bay Resort, where I crashed for the night.
-Wednesday- 11:45amTurtle Bay Pictures- nice, nice digs!
PCC for the day, tours, PRESENTATIONS, Luau, Night Show- What an INSPIRATIONAL,
IMPRESSIVE and IMPOSING influence. Passion and pagentry! Crashed again.
-Friday- 9:45am
La'ie Temple and BYU-Hawai'i campus tour. The temple is closed for remodeling so we were unable to attend- Too bad for us!
Hanuku Town- Giovanni's Shrimp Truck, famous for fresh-from-the ponds-that-morning Scampi, and Lemon Butter Shrimp. Shopping, shopping, always shopping opportunities.
Sunset Beach- Ted's Bakery, renown for Hawai'ian Haupia Chocolate Cream Pie. Even Kathy who is not a big chocolate fan had me go back and get her a slice for herself. Michelle's cream puff was 7" in diameter filled with whipped cream and custard! The strawberry cream pie was pretty good too!
Launikai Beach- Green Sea Turtles, 12-15 of them, in the surf, on the beach, hanging out everywhere. It was amazing.
Wai'mai- Aiono's Hawai'ian Shave Ice legendary for it's combination of shave ice, ice cream and some type of sweet beans. Does there seem to be a food theme going on here? Hmmm! Shopping . . shopping . . shopping . .
Dole Pineapple Plantation- pineapple, Shopping . . shopping . . shopping . .
Honolulu- 5:45pm Flight back to Maui-
Kapalua- 10:00pm back at the Loveland's LUXURIOUS home
Meeting up with Scott and MaryJane Johnson, long-time, dear friends. MaryJane works in the travel industry and facilitated some of our travel, has obvious travel priviledges and so they met us here for a few days visit. They prepared a welcome Luau of their own- grilled BBQ ribs, fresh grilled pineapple, salads, Mango Spongecake all ready as we walked in the door. We ate and ate, visited a little and crashed, again!
-Saturday- 8:45am- Very windy, cool, and cloudy.
Kapalua- Just relaxed, visited, lounged, and recovered from the scheduled part of the trip. I really wanted to get in the ocean today but it was just too cold for me, though there were still many other people in the water. I walked a couple of miles on the boardwalk trail behind the house with Dave and Scott. We all hot-tubbed a couple of hours, then napped- again.
Kahana- "Anniversary Dinner" at Roys ending with their deadly baked chocolate souffl`e with it's molten center. Strongly endorsed by MaryJane & Scott, it has been voted all of Hawai'is best dessert for 16 years running! It was sinfully good bordering on immoral.
Every day we have been in Kapalua we have seen Humpback Whales (mothers are 40-50' long), as many as seven or eight at once, mothers and calves!
-Sunday- 8:30amThe Sabbath
Lahaina- 9:00am Lahaina First Ward Fast Sunday block of meetings.
Kapalua- A relaxing sabbath day of rest, naps, and visiting. We had a second anniversary dinner around 7:00pm of grilled, thick, juicy beefsteaks and pork steaks with an assortment of sweet peppers and mushrooms, fresh pineapple, salad, corn, rolls, sautee`d onions and mushrooms, topped off with Haupia Chocolate Cream Pie! I rolled onto the bed with my Tongan Prayer fleece blanket to warm up and read a moment at about 9:15pm before joining the others downstairs to visit and play some games. Michelle woke me up for the third time at about 12:10am to undress and get into the covers.
-Monday- 4:30amFirst breakfast and blogging.
Kapalua- "More to come . . .

-Format Change-

2009-03-30T08:46:00.002-06:00

We are making a small format change and moving my comments directly to the "Post" area of the blogsight. This will streamline the flow, and allow more direct response to comments you good people make regularly . . . .Mahalo!

Daily Herald

2009-03-22T17:18:00.003-06:00

Mom and Dad were interviewed recently by the Daily Herald, a local newspaper most receive in Utah County. I found out about the published article today via church talk on hope, wherein the article was referenced. Our family is filled with hope, now more than ever - a true gift from God.

Accessing the Daily Herald site, Dad's article was front page. I don't know where it was located in the printed version, perhaps if you subscribe, you could send a hard copy to Dad for his book of memories. Below is the article for reference, quite complementary:

Sunday, 22 March 2009
Alpine man faces death with dignity
Christie Dalley - Daily Herald

Alpine resident Richard Loser (pronounced low-sir) and his family are facing his death with dignity, and a growing bucket list. Diagnosed last October with aggressive and terminal gallbladder cancer, Loser was told he had about two months to live. With the help of five rounds of chemotherapy he is still here.
"We keep adding to the bucket list," said the 52-year-old.

The first thing they decided to do was to have a reunion with his extended family in California. He is originally from the little town of Garden Valley, which is between Sacramento, Calif. and Lake Tahoe, Nev.

"It is a little farming community and a great place to grow up," Loser said. "We had chickens and milk cows and a lot of snow." Loser grew up loving the great outdoors.

Loser and his wife, Michelle, have five children. One of their sons, Cameron, is serving an LDS mission in Mexico City. It was hard to tell him the news. Although he could have elected to come home, he chose to stay. However, the Losers' stake president had other ideas. He worked with church headquarters and received the almost unheard-of permission for Cameron to come home for three days and say goodbye to his dad.

"We found out about it just days before he was to come at the end of October so we decided to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all together while he was here," Michelle said. "I called a dear friend, Pam Elder, and asked for her help to put a Thanksgiving dinner together for us. Well, the word spread and soon everyone in our neighborhood was involved."

"We anticipated I would go around the end of December, and we did not want the kids to associate the holidays with my death," Loser said.

The event included Thanksgiving dinner and all their Christmas traditions.

"Cameron loves the Christmas lights so we asked a couple of neighbors to put them up for us," he said. "When we came home from the airport, we came home to Christmas with all the lights shining."

One of the Loser Christmas traditions is riding around and viewing all the Christmas lights. It was only October so this was impossible, but a family in Alpine, who lights a tree on the hill every Christmas called the Lone Pine, has a son who lives across the street. He asked his parents to light the tree just for the Loser family.

"We got to ride up and see those Christmas lights after all," Loser said. "When we got home we found our friends had filled the whole end of the family room downstairs with presents. We cried and laughed and were overwhelmed."

Another tradition was to put up a blanket fort to sleep in and read the "Polar Express" on Christmas Eve.

"Richard and the boys had just finished the basement and I went down and Richard had put up the fort by putting huge eye screws in the wall. I tried to be upset, but I couldn't get mad," Michelle said. They read the book and watched old family videos.

"Our presents for each other were simple. We videotaped Richard reading the 'Polar Express' and gave a copy to each of our children," Michelle said.

That night they were visited by a group of friends they had met while they were in college at Ricks in Idaho.

"We have gotten together every year since we first met," Michelle said. "There were more than 50 of them in the front yard singing Christmas carols. They had come from all over Utah and Idaho just to see us. They had just left when Loser's Scout troop came. They brought a huge banner which said "We Love You Bro Lo." Loser has been involved in Scouting his entire life. He and his four sons are all Eagle Scouts. His troop has had the enviable rate of close to 90 percent Eagle Scouts.

After three celebration-packed days they took Cameron back to the airport. "He knew he wouldn't see his dad again but he was strengthened by the visit and the outpouring of service and support he had experienced from our ward and friends. He knew we would be okay," Michelle said.

Loser has lost 100 pounds since October but still tries to walk for 20 minutes a day. A long time ago the couple had planned a trip to Hawaii for their 25th wedding anniversary which is in April. However, their doctor advised them to take the trip right away. They put it on their bucket list.

"I have a 'pick line' and a pump to deliver the pain medications so I decided to wean off them so the skin will heal over and the doctor will substitute a transdermal patch. You can't go to Hawaii and not go into the water," Loser said, ever game for a new experience. They are going on the trip accompanied by two sisters, one brother-in-law and Michelle's mother for support.

They leave for Hawaii today.

The Loser family is facing the inevitable with quiet acceptance and doing everything they can think of to make life as memorable as they can in the meantime. They both said one of the things that has helped them is the blog their son created, http://richardloser.blogspot.com, to let their loved ones know how things are going.

"We started out and thought we had to keep everything positive but soon realized it was more honest to write what it was really like with the ups and downs."

Family and Pi Day!

2009-03-14T21:27:00.002-06:00

Hello all, and Happy Pi day (3/14)!

This week has been good at the Loser home. Mom and Dad are continuing to make their trip plans, and in an effort to get his PICC line removed (so he can swim in Hawaii), Dad has switched to other means of pain control, including pain patches and pills instead of his pain pump. Things look good so far, and dad has felt WONDERFUL not having to cart around his man-purse. It's amazing to think that he's had it for almost five months! Speaking of which, St. Patrick's day is the official 5-month anniversary of dad's terminal diagnosis, which means that he's beating some of the odds out there. We are excited, and hope he can be one of the 15% that makes it past 6 months! Happy Anniversary!

Our family is doing very well - Elder Cameron Loser is still working hard in Mexico and hasn't broken any bones lately, so we're happy. Alex was officially measured at 5'9" this week, which means he passes up mom in height! I (Nichole) am still working and going to school and spending time at home with the fam. Benjamin just drove out to Oklahoma to pick up his fiance Jackie, and hopefully they are safe as they are driving back right this minute! Adam, Rachel, and Isaac are doing well and, as always, they are faithful and good servants of the Lord. Mom has been shopping this week for bathing suits to wear in Hawaii - it's not really the most fun activity for most women, but she made it through with minimal carnage (though the collateral damage was higher than we would have liked) :)

We were once again reminded this last week of how blessed we are. We have good relationships and we love each other, in spite of our pampered-ness, our awkward stories, our making-up-stories, and our bodily functions. We are a family! We chose to share this mortal journey with each other, the ups and downs, the wrongs and rights. There are times when we run away from our troubles (until they catch up) and other times we stand together, hand in hand, to face the challenges of life. We all run, and we all stand. We are all human. We are all divine. It is these gifts we are grateful for.

We can never express our full gratitude, to our Father in Heaven or to our family and friends. In spite of our weaknesses, we hope this helps you all realize how much you mean to us.
Thank you.
The Loser Family

Baptisms for the Dead

2009-03-07T17:00:00.003-07:00

As a family, we have determined that every Thursday night we will gather together to make a memory. This past Thursday, we were able to go to the Jordan River temple and preform baptisms for the dead. The spirit was incredibly strong and we were all touched. Dad was feeling well enough to be a witness during the baptisms and to even do many of the confirmations. We are so thankful that "sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally". -The Family, A Proclamation to the World
After we finished at the temple, we went to Johnny Carino's for Dinner. Yum! It was a wonderful evening.

Chugging Along

2009-03-02T06:19:00.001-07:00

Hello family and friends! Another week has flown by and not much has changed at the Loser home. Dad is still chugging along - he had chemo this last Thursday and has felt nauseus and fatigued - same old thing as before. He is having fun planning the Hawaii trip and dreaming of all the things they will do on island(s). At this point, dad still really wants to swim (and who wouldn't?) so he's weaning himself off the pain pump and on to othere pain forms, such as tablets, oral drops, and patches. That means he will have the PICC line removed from his arm before they go. As for the chemo, He's likely not going to have any other appointments this month to give him some time to recover and feel better before leaving on the trip, so we're excited to see if he starts to feel a little better!

Everything else is going pretty okay - Isaac, (the one and only grandchild), got to stay the night this weekend at grandma's house and my how we love him! Elder Cameron Loser continues to do well in Mexico on his mission - if any of you feel so inclined to join us, we like to send him little notes of love and inspiration at csloser@gmail.com. We admire his testimony and faith that God loves us all and wants us all to return to Him when this life is over. We are so grateful for all our blessings, both those we have received and those we anticipate ;)

Thank you for your continued support,
The Losers

Start of the new week

2009-02-23T15:29:00.003-07:00

Hello everyone! We hope things are going well for all of you.

Dad is feeling okay most of the time. His kidney pain went away almost as unexpectedly as it came, and by the time he had his renal scan on last Tuesday, it was nearly gone. The results showed that there was some fluid around his kidney but that it was less than what we found from the PET scan the few days before. Overall, that means we are blessed because dad doesn't have to have the external drain, and he's not in intense pain, either. The blood transfusion went well, and he seems to be feeling slightly better as a result.

Otherwise, things are going well at the Loser home. Concerning the trip, mom and dad have decided to go to Hawaii! They've been talking about it for years, and there's no time like the present, right? They think they'll leave sometime around the end of March, and we're hoping dad will feel good enough to go. He can't swim in the ocean with his PICC line, so either they'll have to lounge in the (barely) surf, or he may decide to have it removed before they go. Who wants to go to Hawaii and stay out of the water?

Thank you for your prayers, love, and support. We still feel them, and we are grateful to be upheld by so many of our loved ones. May your week be filled with small moments of joy!
The Losers

And They Lived Happily Forever After . . .

2009-02-20T09:19:00.005-07:00

30 years ago, Dad and his college roommates organized an unprecedented date for several very lucky women. Among other things the "10 dwarfs" made the "Fair Maidens of the Land of Ricks" wear flippers and hula hoops while singing in the library, toilet paper a car and then get arrested, decorate a cake, bowl, canoe in a swimming pool, and dress up as storybook characters (Mom was Rapunzel as pictured below).
For Valentine's Day this year, we wanted to try to recreate some of this date for Mom, Dad, and their good Rick's College Friends. The evening activities included a cake contest, the matches & bottle game, hula hooping with flippers, yoga ball bowling, guess "Who's Love Song", dinner, and a whole lot of reminiscing and laughs. Everyone seemed to have a great time. We are so thankful for the love and friendship this group has offered us through the years. We love you all!

Bryce & Patti, Steve & Jan, John & Patti, Blair & Leslie, Rick & Michelle (We missed ElRay & Roberta!)
And they continue to live happily forever after . . .

Friday the 13th (dum dum dum)

2009-02-13T12:52:00.002-07:00

Hello! and Happy Valentine's Day!

Yesterday I took dad to his doctors appointment, and a four hour day turned into a 9 hour day. Lovely, right? First thing in the morning, dad had a PET scan that wasn't nearly as bad as he remembers. He had to drink four cups of dye and lay on the table for 25 minutes while they took pictures, and overall, it was pretty easy and relaxing. After the scan, we ran to the cafeteria for some food, then came back for dad's appointment with the palliative care (pain management) person, Dr. Macpherson. She's very nice and we appreciate that she takes the time to listen to everything we have to say. In any case, we met with her and described where dad's at; she had two primary concerns:

1) dad has had some bleeding after his violent throwing up episodes. She said that's not natural, so she ran some blood tests and it turns out that dad is even more anemic than he was before his last blood transfusion, and his platelets were also down (accounting for the extra bleeding). As a reminder, his blood levels are down because of the chemo - it's one of the side effects. Therefore, after our appointment we went to the AF hospital so dad could get typed and matched for a blood transfusion on Monday. Another five hour hospital day. Yippee. At least the transfusion should help dad feel better, though.

2) The second concern was that dad has right kidney pain. Earlier in the week, dad had some cultures done to see if he had a kidney infection, so we called and got those results (which were negative - no infection). Dr. Macpherson rushed the PET scan results from that morning, and determined that there are fluids around dad's kidney that means either a) his ureters are too blocked to drain the kidney, so he'll have to have a permanent external drain in his lower back, or b) his ureter is draining poorly, so we'll let it struggle and just treat dad's kidney pain. We're not sure how the kidney is doing, so dad has a renal scan scheduled for Tuesday. Once we see what it looks like, we'll know better exactly what our options are.

Dad's first PET scan back in November served as a marker to see where the tumors were and how big they were. The PET scan yesterday helped us compare the tumors to where they were back in November. The results showed that in some places, the tumors had shrunken or disappeared, but that there was new tumor development along his midline chest. Dr. Whisenant was pleased with the results, referring to them as "half good, half bad." There was some new growth, but it wasn't an extremely aggressive spreading. Again, that says very little about time lines, but it helps us know that the chemo is doing some good stuff (and therefore worth the trade off).

That's about all our exciting news this week, other than the fact that it's VALENTINE'S DAY!
We hope you all hug and smooch your loved ones today! We're glad for these cheesy but sweet reminders of how we are blessed to have loved ones far and near.
We love you all!
The Losers

Who's the Most Spoiled...

2009-02-10T01:03:00.004-07:00

Hello all! Time for our biweekly check in. These last few days, dad has been feeling pretty sick still from his Chemo last week. He's been tired and has had more nausea than ever before (but at least it's not completely stopping him from eating). He has continued to love his visitors, so much in fact that he likes to pack in as many people as he can!

This week on Friday, dad has a PET scan before his doctors appointment. For those who don't know, a PET scan helps the doctors see how big the tumors in his abdomen are. We are expecting them to be the same size or even shrunken (is that a word?) a little, since the blood work indicates that his tumor markers are going down. I guess we'll see, and let you know next week when we get the results! Dad isn't really looking forward to the scan, though - something about standing up with your arms and one leg in the air for 200 minutes and drinking seventeen gallons of red dye or something like that - I don't know, you'll have to ask him :)

Otherwise, things are continuing to be okay at the Loser home. We received a great email from Cam this week, and here's another little excerpt:
"We are a very very blessed family. I have a father that I love dearly and I know that he loves me. A lot of people don't have that and their relationships are worse or they don't have one at all. I believe ... I have a father ready to meet our Father in Heaven and Christ. Dad, don't get me wrong, you have gotten mad when we didn't do our jobs you asked us to do. When you were always working on a new project and we would sneak off to hang out with friends or to get out of doing the work you would get frustrated. But you were always trying to help us learn how to work, and I realize now that you always always always wanted the best for us... I hope I can raise my kids like you have and be a dad like you have been to me. I am so very grateful that our Father in Heaven chose me to come to this family."

Again, we want to thank all of dad's visitors who come to cheer him up! It's fun to see dad off to breakfast with his buds, the amazing Tweedledee and Tweedledum (who's who?). It's also fun to see how Isaac (the most beloved and spoiled person who's ever been in our house) interacts with dad's visitors. This last week our good friend Siope visited and brought his daughter, Ileana (sorry if I spelled it wrong!) who tried to play with Isaac. When all he wanted to do was line up grandma's ceramics on the window sill, she participated by narrating what she declared was his "garage sale." Kids are so fun!

We love you all! Give your loved ones a squeeze for us,
The Losers

Grandpa & Isaac

2009-02-03T16:53:00.003-07:00

Isaac loves spending time with Grandpa! Today they had fun pulling their tractors around the house. Isaac followed Grandpa like a little duckling. Judging from the smile on Grandpa's face, I'm pretty sure he loves spending time with Isaac too. What do you think?

End of the Month Round-Up

2009-02-01T22:08:00.004-07:00

Hello all! Are you ready for a long post? I know, we haven't posted in a while. This one comes to you courtesy of Nichole.
It's been interesting, because dad "celebrated" the benchmark of 3 months past diagnosis. It's kind of a midway mark, given the statistics of the disease, and there are a lot of dynamics at work. We still have many unanswered questions, such as "How long will dad continue to feel okay? At what point will he go 'downhill'? What does 'downhill' mean or look like?" We don't have the answers - in fact, no one does, so we're playing it by ear. With that being said, we've had a fantastic Loser Family counsel and re-grouped. It was a good event, and we've reset (and re-acknowledged) some priorities and planned some more great family activities. We hope to post on the blog twice a week from now on. Dad also still loves all his visitors - please call to schedule a visit if you'd like!

As far as medical updates go, dad's cancer doctor (Dr. Whisenant) is great and very sensitive to his needs. Dad is still getting Chemo every Thursday, but his blood count levels were down again, so this last week he got a small shot of this really expensive medicine to help - like the nurse didn't want to waste any, because a drop cost hundreds of dollars. Amazing, isn't it? Do you think they'd let me pay rent in "medicine drop?" In any case, dad still has the nausea and fatigue from the Chemo, too. He is taking steroids right now, which have made his face fill out. To those of us who know, he's actually pretty puffy, but a lot of people think he looks "really good." Dad is wishing he felt even a little bit as good as he looks. A bright spot: Dad gained 7 pounds in two weeks! Hooray for eating!

We also wanted to mention that Cameron (Elder Loser) is doing very well in Mexico. Here is a snippet from his last email:

"Dad, I still can't put into words how I feel about you and how amazing you really are to me and to everyone who knows you. Your faith and strength are immeasurable. I love you dad. Mom, you also are an amazing, amazing example of a true eternal companion. I hope to marry someone who has the qualities and patience and love and support that you have and give to dad and us as your kids and to everyone else around you. I love you all so so so much. Isaac better remember who Uncle Cameron is when I get back, and maybe even another nephew. That goes for both marriages in the family. I love you guys, and thanks for everything - you all help me out so much."

We love our missionary!

Some events from the past few weeks:
* Dad attended some family weddings, including Sheri Scoresby from the Ricks family and Ryan Dickison from Mom's side. He loved them!
* The Loser family got a wonderful weekend visit from one of dad's childhood friends - she flew
all the way from California to see him! What a lucky dog. Thank you, Peggy, for your visit and the wonderfully cheerful spirit you brought to our home!
* The Loser family also got a visit from Jane Stoddard. We know her family from our time living in Grace, Idaho many years ago - we were good friends, and we've stayed in contact all these years. Thank you, Jane, for making the trek down to Utah to visit, and for your wonderful homegrown potatoes!
* Dad's niece, Jessica Wood (Catherine's daughter) was baptized! Hooray and congratulations for Jessica! She invited dad to speak on the Holy Ghost, and his talk was wonderful and inspiring for all.
* We were able to have the Jeff Dickison family over for Sunday dinner, and it was amazing! We all fit around the table and laughed and talked, then we played games - we love playing games with you guys! Thanks to Chari, Jeff, Jordan, Sarah, Chelsea, and Charlotte. And thanks to Sarah for letting Isaac run the fire truck up and down your face. That means he likes you!
* Mom and Dad were able to have a couples night with Jan and Steve Story - they ate delicious food and played a board game - yes folks, dad actually played a board game. It's like pulling teeth to get him to do it at home. Anyway, they loved it.
* Mom and Dad were also able to go out to dinner with the Reddings, and they love how good they feel around you. Thank you for being so uplifting!
* The Loser family got a special visit from the Elders, who were apparently too lazy to put on real clothes. Just kidding - it was a pajama visit! Thank you guys for coming over and oozing comfort. As always, we love to hear stories of the Elder family adventures.
* The Loser family were the recipients of a special musical concert put on at our home by Michelle Sundwall and April Moriarty. Sister Sundwall's singing lifted us to the heavens, and Sister Moriarty's violin playing made the angels jealous. Thank you for sharing a portion of your testimonies and bringing the spirit into our home.

In closing, as you can tell, we are still so very blessed. We have friends and family who are willing to put up with us, and we are served by all of you every day. Your prayers are known, and the hand of our loving Heavenly Father is evident in our lives.
We thank you for your patience and your love.
We love you all,
The Losers

January at the Loser Home

2009-01-17T22:24:00.002-07:00

Hello all. Things are going okay since our last post - again, our apologies that it's been so long between posts. Here is a short list of updates:
* The blood transfusion went well (it took five hours - hospital visits are like a part time job now)

* Dad's blood levels have gone back up, which means the transfusion was a good decision

* Dad's tumor markers (that show how much they are growing) have gone down again, which means the chemo is doing good stuff

Other stuff:
* In spite of the good news, dad is feeling the effects of all this chemical stuff. He feels blah a lot of the time and struggles with energy and nausea still. He does love visitors and talking about old times with friends

* Adam and Rachel are loving being parents of their energetic man child, Isaac. We also love his beginning-to-make-sentence words and being called by our names ("granma", "coley", "awex")

* Benj and Jackie are making wedding plans (dresses, colors, announcement pics, etc) and loving spending time together until she leaves for Oklahoma in two days

* Mom is busy taking care of the house and dad and trying to decide what she wants to do when she grows up

* Nichole and Alex are getting back into the groove of school. Nichole is still working and taking some classes, and is home on the weekends to help. Alex is, well, himself.

Overall, we're still chugging along. Thank you to those who still check the blog and are patient with our slow posting. Again, we appreciate all your love and support,
The Losers

Wishing each of you a very Happy New Year! (And Benj a happy engagement!)

2009-01-08T19:20:00.002-07:00

We look forward to many new and significant events transpiring in the coming year . . . Richard is having chemo today. His hematocrit counts (blood levels) are quite low (24.5, down from 27.3, normal range 41-47) so he will receive a couple of pints of blood tomorrow (Friday) at American Fork Hospital. Dr. Whisenant also prescribed a new medication to boost his energy – so look out – who knows what this combination will do!

Bilateral stent exchange at the big new hospital in Murray, the Intermountain Medical Center (IMC):
Richard had a surgical procedure on Tuesday to have plastic stents in his ureters replaced by metal stents that can stay in up to a year. He has more trepidation regarding this same day surgery than any of the other hospital stays or operations he's had to date. We were concerned that the ureters were bad enough from the cancer that the new stents wouldn't go in - if they couldn't be replaced, they would have needed to put in an exterior drain to each kidney that is emptied in another bag, like his ileostomy. The exterior drains are inconvenient, uncomfortable, painful and difficult to manage. Can you imagine trying to sleep with an illeostomy bag in the front and two kidney bags in the back? Thankfully prayers, fasting, and a great priesthood blessing were heard, and a skilled physician got the replacement stents in. Trepidation was replaced by thanksgiving.

We continue to have good days and bad days. Fatigue has been the main issue of the past eight or nine days. On a scale of 0-10, Richard’s fatigue has been consistently near eight, nausea maybe a three to four. This may be from the chemotherapy and possibly the natural progression of the cancer itself. Notwithstanding the good test results last week and his good appearance, the disease is still progressing. He is still dying. We are still coping daily and hourly with that knowledge. We are buoyed up by the prayers, service, visits, and fasting in our behalf by many loved ones. We are humbled by simple reminders that death continues to approach.

In the midst of the day-to-day death experience in the Loser home, we also experience much of life and the true joys of family, service, and relationships. Benj and Alex traded the two seven-foot long Red-Tailed Boa Constrictors for two lovely, cuddly little Australian Sugar Gliders. Though she would still prefer some prior approval of new additions to the home, Michelle is V-E-R-Y pleased that the “big, slimy, slithering” snakes are gone - however, she's not quite enamored with the jumping Sugar Gliders, most especially when they jump at her!

Life in the Loser home has also brought the long anticipated announcement of Benjamin’s engagement. Benj finally asked Jaqueline Fotu (from right here in Alpine, UT), his girlfriend of several years, to marry him on New Years Day. She is the oldest of eleven-and-a-half children. Jackie is currently attending the University of Oklahoma and is in her junior year on a full-ride volleyball scholarship. They plan on being married June 6th, and will move back to Norman, OK for a year to finish up Jackie’s volleyball commitment, scholarship, and degree. We all love Jackie very much for her warm and endearing personality, her openness, and especially appreciate the great influence she is on Benjamin. He has been so happy these past few weeks, although a couple of days before he proposed he was a nervous wreck. We didn't know if he was going to survive the "Future Father-In-Law Talk", let alone pull off a romantic engagement, but he finally managed and did very well. And yes, with Benj at 6’5” and Jackie at 6’1” they will, without a doubt, be supplying the tallest Loser grandchildren. We are so very excited for them! Life is good!

Catching Up this past week

2008-12-26T10:22:00.008-07:00

It has been a very busy time of year for the Loser family. We have been somewhat behind on our postings so I, Richard, will attempt to catch you up. I am doing so on Friday December 26 while at the Huntsman Cancer Clinic receiving my second treatment in the second round of chemotherapy.

Highlights from the past week:

* Tumor marker test results = A 27% reduction (meaning the chemo is working) GREAT!

* Liver function (enzymes) = A 56% reduction (meaning the liver is doing better) GREAT!

* My sister DeeDee had successful back surgery to remove two herniated disks in her lower back, NO SURPRISES. We were all a bit concerned after the last Loser routine surgery!

* Fatigue attack Sunday morning kept me home from church and singing Christmas hymns.

* Nausea attack Tuesday evening had me throwing up twice- Chemo effects lingering.

* Family breakfast at the Elder Home on Wednesday was French toast Croissants w/ vanilla syrup, hash brown breakfast casserole, & fresh OJ - it was dewichious and dewightful!

* Alex's "prayers" of the past several weeks for a White Christmas being answered in full measure. We have about 18" of snow in the yard. Accumulated snowfall is likely approaching 30-36" for the past week. Alex is loving it!

* Talking to Elder Cameron Loser on Christmas Day- he is enjoying much success in all aspects of his missionary labors. He is happy, engaged, and enthusiastic.

* Received an Apple TV for Christmas. This is a really cool piece of electronics gear (discovered by our savvy son, Adam) for the storing, organizing and playing of family photos, movies, and music. All family pictures can be displayed on our regular television in any number of playlists and musical accompaniments. It is really amazing and easy to view family photos. We have been reminiscing as a family on a regular basis. Now we have the daunting task of digitizing all of our old photos for the Apple TV. But, what an easy and accessible way to organize everything. I am really excited about this gift if you can't tell. This will be a great legacy once we are done. All of our current photos and videos are already digital so they can go right into the Apple TV. Fun, Fun, Fun!

Just having the family near and sharing time together in living, loving, and laughing. Life is grand . . . and we are so very, very grateful to our God and Heavenly Father for His multitude of tender mercies. Many friends have been visiting and sharing poignant feelings and experiences. Our hearts and our very lives are touched by all of you and the love and caring support we feel from you. We love you all!

Second Round of Chemotherapy, First Treatment

2008-12-19T00:13:00.003-07:00

Today we braved the 7-8" of snow that landed in Alpine and went for the start our second round of chemo. This treatmant was Jemzar and had added a second more toxic and effective drug called Carbo Platin.
As is becomming typical, the treatment day was anything but normal. The "normal" 35 minute commute took about an hour, so we were late. We met with Dr. Whisenant and discussed some test results, he said I looked great, my weight is the same, and we went on to the treatment. About 1:45, after the four drugs they were giving me had all been infused, I started to get up and realized my ostemy bag was very full and leaking. I had aleady emptied the bag three times since we arrived. I guess today the fourth was the unlucky number. We finally got totally changed over- clothing and all, visited the cafeteria, and then arrived back home at 4:15 pm.
We had cancelled our plans to meet with Russon Brother's Mortuary in Bountiful to make the final funeral arraingements. We had also planned to visit some famliy- the Essigs, and to do some shopping. Oh well! We got the most important part of the day covered.

For all of you "visual" people out there

2008-12-17T15:28:00.008-07:00

You may have noticed that our posts lately have been lacking pictures. Here are several photos taken of some of our recent adventures.

Walk through of the Draper Temple (12/17/08)

Outside the Temple

The family plus Charlie (Mom's high school friend and our gracious host). Thank you Charlie!

Silver Beaver Award (12/6)

Salutes

Touched & speechless

Actually receiving the award

Thanksgiving (11/26 through 11/29)

Isaac & Grandpa

Adam & Dad

Quick fishing trip with Karl, Adam, & Adam C.

Dickison Family

San Diego (11/12 through 11/17)

The whole fam (minus Cam) at the San Diego Temple

Isaac & Grandpa at the San Diego Zoo

Sea World

Loving the Snow

2008-12-15T21:51:00.006-07:00

Hello friends and family!
Just a few updates from the Loser home (sorry there haven't been more - Nichole's been sick and is trying to stay away from Alpine so she doesn't get dad sick).

Last Wednesday, dad was honored with the "Associate Member Service Award" by the Utah Association for Home Care. He was nominated by the directors of this association, and he attended a luncheon with mom and some colleagues from work at the Desert Star Playhouse. I guess the kind woman who heads the association really likes dad, so she made him a blanket along with his "plaque." It was an honor for him to receive the award.

Last Thursday, our family friend Richard Bangerter took me and dad and Uncle Jared up in his 6 seater plane. From the municipal airport in West Jordan, "we flew in a big circle from Salt Lake down right over our house, up over the mountains (barely), then circled through Deer Creek Reservoir and all the way up to Cache Valley. We landed in Jackpot, NV, where we walked to a casino for lunch, then completed the trip home by flying over the Great Salt Lake." It was amazing! Thank you so so so much Richard! We love you.

Thursday evening and a little of Friday, dad had some nausea, but was able to mostly control it and he didn't even puke! Yea! That evening, dad's childhood friend Rick Smith flew in from California and spent a wonderful weekend with dad. They got out the old high school yearbooks (and to mom's dismay), pointed out all the girls who they thought were cute. Saturday, mom couldn't take it anymore (not really, she thought it was pretty funny) and mom, Rachel and I headed up to West Valley to attend two bridal showers for our awesome cousins, then we grabbed Grandma Dickison and headed to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert at the Conference Center. We loved the music - it was great this year! We had some wet moments during some of the beautiful songs.

Speaking of wet moments, mom and dad had some good crying/cuddling moments today. They are hard but special times; even in the face of adversity, there is love and support to be found in the arms of those we love. We are again reminded, on a daily basis, of the love and support we have been given, and we cherish the time we are allowed to spend together. We also cherish the wonderfully cold snow. Isn't it beautiful? (when you're inside with hot chocolate next to the fire)?
All our love,
The Losers

P.S. We got a sweet picture from Cameron today:

A Big Beaver of a Night

2008-12-08T10:54:00.004-07:00

Hello friends and family,

Last night was a wonderful and majestic experience. As the scoutmaster, dad was to attend the ward's Court of Honor. Little did he know that he was to receive the Silver Beaver award, one of scouting's highest honors! He had some suspicion he was to receive some sort of plaque or informal award from the scouts, but when he walked in and saw the whole chapel and gymnasium full of friends and family, he broke down in tears of awe and gratitude. The tears continued through the scout merit badge presentations and into the local counsel presenting him (as Richard George Loser :) the Silver Beaver.

The counsel chairman explained that this was the first time in his recollection that this award was presented outside the yearly ceremony. In fact, he informed us that the application (whose lengthy process took several weeks) was approved overnight. Even as a stranger, as he asked all those present to stand and salute dad, the chairman became emotional with the spirit of love and devotion in that meeting. It was a special experience for all those fortunate enough to be present. Congratulations! We love you Scoutmaster!

After a long and physically/emotionally draining night, dad and I (Nichole) awoke this morning and were off to get dad's PICC line and some chemo. We got to the hospital, and after going through an admittance/registration process (honestly, the cancer center is 50 feet away - can't these people share the same network or something? Should we really have to spend 50 minutes filling out paperwork and answering the same questions we've answered 478 times before?) we had to wait another hour for the ONLY nurse who does this to get off her lunch break. Ok, people need to eat. I understand that, I guess. But then, after another hour for the procedure, we get the X-ray back only to discover that the catheter has doubled back on itself. What does that mean? Oh, friends, it means that dad has to go to the Heart and Lung center to have a angio-picc relocation procedure done.

So, by this time it's 1:00 p.m., and we've been at the hospital for 4 hours already. Dad hadn't eaten, so we ran over to the hospital cafeteria and got some food to go. It's amazing - more like a combination of 6 gourmet eatery places! Dad got a Farr's Burnt Almond Fudge shake that he's been craving for the last 5 years, so that was a bright spot of the day. We then went to the Heart and Lung building, where we spent ANOTHER HOUR in the admittance/registration process. Come on, people, give me a break! The system is broken! Anyway, we waited some more in a cool (and large) ICU room, then they took dad for 15 minutes and pop! the catheter was fixed! Then, we went back to the Huntsman Cancer Center for some chemo. Another 2 hours later, we walked out to the car in lovely white-out conditions (well, almost). That concluded our 9 hour "hospital stay," only to get caught in rush hour traffic. At least the snowfall was beautiful and helped us relax and remember the important things in life. Like snow tires. And big snowflakes. And ice cream.

Be grateful for what you have and for what each moment in life brings you. Some things are just out of your control...
All our love,
The Losers

Take a Page from their Book

2008-12-04T23:24:00.007-07:00

Hello everyone! How we love you all and are grateful for your support.

Dad has been struggling with a little nausea still, but guess what!?! The abscess drain is gone! This morning from 7-8 am, dad spent the whole hour drinking nasty red-fake-berry-tasting dye for a CT scan. They did the scan, and didn't find any trace of his abscess, so it's long gone, and so is his extra appendage. That's a highlight of the week for us here.

Dad also visited with the palliative care doctor, and after some problems with his subcutaneous line and dad not having enough fat on his body, we decided to put in a picc line. ("PICC stands for Peripherally Inserted Central venous Catheter. This intravenous catheter is inserted through the skin, into a vein in the arm, in the region above the elbow and below the shoulder. The catheter is a long, thin tube that is advanced into the body in the veins until the internal tip of the catheter is in the superior vena cava, one of the central venous system veins that carries blood to the heart.") Overall, this means that dad can get his pain and other medication a little easier, without having some of the vein problems he's had. We are taking him in on Monday for the picc line. We also got some more (an indefinite supply) of dad's favorite nausea medication today, so hopefully his puking will be a problem of the past.

Today's parting message: We are so grateful to have family here (dad's brother/his family) from California visiting us this week. They are calm, helpful, and loving, and we have greatly enjoyed their presence. They are the kind of visitors you wish would stay longer, because they teach us lessons about helping others and taking things in stride. As I told mom this week, we can all take a page out of their Christ-like book. Thank you, Rob, Gerry, Jamin, Amanda, Chelsea, and Ronan for your examples to us.
We love you all,
The Losers

ps. Here are some pictures of dad's family from the trip to CA

Coley and Mom by the pomegranate tree

Dad and his doubly expensive lawn chair
(Yes, we finally got it back from the airport)

Dad's sisters frolicking in the leaves

Dad and his grandmother, Della Bohall

Dad and his siblings, together in a picture for the first time:

Gail, Dad, Cindy

Deedee, Catherine

Rob

Robert (brother), his wife Gerry, their daughter Chelsea, and their grandson Ronin

The Loser Family Tree (ha ha)

Rough Night

2008-12-01T08:23:00.006-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, last night, and into this morning dad has had another bout with nausea. His subcutaneous site (I.V. in his belly) where he receives the pain medication became compromised and we turned off the pain pump for about seven hours until we could get Homecare to relocate the site. This is no easy task, considering that the site is supposed to be in an area where there is sufficient fatty tissue, and he doesn't have much of that kind of tissue left. At any rate, part of the result has been the nausea throughout the night and a couple of vomiting episodes last night and this morning.

Today we went in for a CT scan to see if the abscess is cleared enough to remove the drain. Unfortunately, when we got there, we discovered dad was supposed to drink a billion gallons of the dye drink for the scan. After one sip, he very quickly realized it wasn't going to happen, so we had to reschedule the scan. Oh well, dad's just going to have to carry around the drain a few more days. Hopefully by the weekend, dad will lose this "additional piece of medical paraphernalia" he's been packing since San Diego. At least he got to eat (and keep down) dinner, which consisted of a salad and a doughnut. Yum.

Second Chemotherapy Treatment and Thanksgiving!

2008-11-30T09:02:00.005-07:00

Tuesday I had my second treatment in the first round of chemotherapy. All went well notwithstanding the San Diego abcess episode. Dr. Whisenant did dial back the additional medication we had planned on doing to lessen the toxic side effects of the treatment. We will be adding the additional medication at the beginning of the next round of treatments. Dr. Whisenant (oncology) on Tuesday, and Dr. Gange (urology) both commented on how well I looked. I had in fact gained eight pounds on the California Trip in ten days. Of course, I had lost 18 pounds the six days before the trip, so I had need of the weight gain. Thanks to all the family and friends who made that terrific trip a reality! There are so many aspects of the trip that just gelled for a remarkable and memorable family experience.

Wednesday we returned from Dr. Gange's visit to host the John and Mary Cray family from Diamond springs, CA. John and I have been hanging out together since we were three or four years old! What great, great friends we have been blessed with to be a part of our lives.
That evening we were off to Wallsburg, UT.

The extended Dickison family (Michelle's side) gathered for a Thanksgiving Reunion. A few family members were missing, one being Cam on his mission in Mexico City. Otherwise, we were 58 strong! The Dickison family gathered for a feast of thanksgiving, gratitude, horseback riding, goat roping, hot tubbing, family video viewing, game playing, and even a half-day fishing trip to Strawberry Reservoir to reel in about 20 Cutthroat and Rainbow Trout. We have had a unique, uncomparable experience that will be remembered by all for a lifetime and beyond. We are truly grateful, blessed, and a happy, joyful family!

Our Southern California Trip

2008-11-24T21:25:00.006-07:00

So we had a G-R-E-A-T family trip to California- Myself, Michelle, Nichole, Benj, and Alex flew to Sacramento Saturday for the extended Loser Family Reunion last Sunday. Wednesday Dad drove us to San Diego in their 32' motorhome. Know that we had a truly great time reliving and creating fresh memories! We are so thankful to have been able to go on this trip. We are so grateful for all who made every aspect of this trip fall into place for us- especially for a kind, loving Heavenly Father who not only blesses us with what we need, but also graciously grants those wants which "gladden the heart and are pleasing to the eye."

You know us - so far, every aspect of this trip had neatly fallen into place for our greatest benefit and pleasure. That means we were overdue for some hiccup or another. Saturday we awoke, and after breakfast I noticed wetness from a place on my abdomen area that shouldn't have wetness. Closer inspection revealed that the wetness was coming from the midline incision. The boys visited a surf shop down the street and rented a long board and two pairs of swim fins, and I went to shower. I informed Michelle that we probably needed to call my colorectal surgeon in Utah and report this new development. Dr. Griffin said go to the ER. It could be a tumor pressing on the incision, but the more likely cause of the wetness was an abscess, which required immediate attention. We sent the boys off to the beach while Rachel and Isaac were napping, and went to the hospital to have a CT scan and a drain to empty the abscess.

Our family had a truly awesome and amazing reunion and vacation experience. I said goodbyes to sweet, sweet women in my family, and long long-time friends. Once again we have been blessed by so many wonderful people, and in so many unlikely and unexpected ways. The only thing lacking in the trip was perhaps, just perhaps another couple of days- one in the north, and two in the south. We are more than content and happy with our outcomes and take-aways. We are loved, and it is good to be home again!

To save blog space (and people's eyes), we shortened this post and added an older post entitled "The California Trip Story." If you would like to see this, click on the link at the bottom of the page that says Older Posts.

Better Days

2008-11-15T21:03:00.002-07:00

Hello all! We are definitely having better days.

Things are going well with our family. This has been an interesting week for sure.
Dad had an appointment with his Palliative Care doctor (end of life pain management) on Wednesday afternoon. Mom, dad and I (Nichole) met with the wonderful Dr. Macpherson for over two hours, and she asked all the right questions and was able to set us on some hopeful paths. For example, we have several new medications for nausea, which makes us very happy. Unfortunately, though dad was supposed to have the Chemotherapy done after the appointment, it didn't work out. Instead, mom and dad went back Thursday morning.

First, they gave him a dose of steroids that are for nausea and energy, then the chemo, then they decided to give him a bag of IV fluid as well. Dad had been nauseous and couldn't keep much of anything down for a while, so he was a little dehydrated. The drugs and fluid helped dad a lot - he had more energy and the nausea went down.

In fact, Friday and Saturday, dad has virtually been nausea free! Hooray, and much cause for celebration! Tonight for dinner he ate 1.5 pieces of pizza, a banana, a brownie, a churro, and a big glass of milk! It's amazing the little joys we find in life now.

If you'd like to talk or visit, please call us first.
We love you all and especially, we love to reminisce with you about ol' times and fond memories.
Thanks again for your love and support,
The Losers

Experimenting with Drugs (not what you think)

2008-11-09T19:03:00.001-07:00

Happy Sunday everyone!

I know we’re a little slow with blog posts (sorry from Nichole and thanks to Adam for the latest post), but we just don’t have a lot of new information to share. Dad is chugging along – lately, we’ve been experimenting with medications and side effects to see what works for dad, and what doesn’t.
Dad has medications for his: 1) kidneys, 2) pain, 3) blood pressure, 4) sleep problems, 5) rumbley intestines, and 6) nausea. Sometimes he gets a little overmedicated trying to manage all these issues and turns into Zombie Dad from Doomsday (that sounds like a horror movie). Sometimes some medications make him nauseated and we have to use more medications to make him less nauseated, which make him more drowsy, more sleepy, or more zombie-ish (or all of the above). When he gets nauseous, we have to go on “puke duty” for a day or two. All in all, it’s usually a gamble what happens, so we’re trying to take it slow and easy. We are grateful for all of dad’s visitors – they help brighten up the days of unease and discomfort.

When we went to the GI Oncologist, who is a specialist in the cancer field, we decided to start Chemotherapy, as you may have read. We did decide to speed up the timeline a bit. Dad had a PET scan and some labs done this last Friday to establish a baseline of the cancer tumors (how big they are, how much cancer stuff is in his blood, etc). Dad will have his first dose of one chemotherapy drug on Wednesday the 12th. It's very mild and is only supposed to cause a little fatigue. Later this month, he will have the second dose of chemotherapy. This one is different from the first, because it involves a combination of drugs that should be more effective, but are a little more toxic to his system. That means there is the possibility of both fatigue and nausea that may last a little longer than a day or two. We don’t know yet how he will react, but after doing these two rounds of chemotherapy, dad will have another PET scan and labs done to see if there was any effect on the cancer tumors. If there was, we’ll continue. If not, we’ll stop.

The reason we are doing chemotherapy is not to “cure” dad. The cancer tumors are too widespread to cure. Chemo can help, however, to make dad feel better. For example, sometimes, the cancer tumors grow and press on organs, causing pain. The chemo helps to shrink the tumors a little, which can bring great relief from the pain. Dad’s pain isn’t so bad right now, and we want to keep it that way. We’ll keep you updated on how things go.

Again, thank you for all of your love and prayers. We are grateful for the knowledge we share as a family that we will be together again after our journeys in this life are over. It sustains us, as does our belief in Jesus Christ.
May His spirit be with you all,

The Losers

Chemotherapy

2008-11-07T14:12:00.002-07:00

Thank you all for your continued interest in our behalf. It is amazing the people who come out of the woodwork and express their support and love. It is sincerely appreciated.

Dad continues to improve a little each day. It is a tremendous improvement from the "doomsday" post a couple of weeks ago. He and mom were able to visit with the cancer oncologist and given dad's young age and rugged good looks, they decided to begin the chemotherapy process. Dad will have a PET scan next Wednesday and then his first dose, causing just a little fatigue.

We then plan to take a short vacation as a family out to California to visit family and the beach, both fond memories of Dad's childhood and ours growing up. When we return, he will have the second dose on the 24th. This one does involve a slight chance that Dad may lose his hair as it is more aggressive. The chemo is meant to attack the cancer resulting in less pain and slower spread of the disease. We are all optimistic of its effects.

Dad will take visitors this afternoon until 6 and Saturday from 2 to 6 and again Sunday. Please call the house, Mom, or Nichole to make sure we are at home before you come over.

Love, the Losers.

Happy Early Holidays

2008-11-01T13:28:00.015-06:00

Over the last few days we have felt an increase of love and gratitude and have shared some unforgettable experiences. We were so grateful that our loving priesthood leaders were able to secure permission for Elder Cameron Loser to come home for a couple of days to be with us. We had all accepted that he wouldn't be coming home, but a tender mercy from the Lord was granted. We recognize this is a rare exception, but we are ever grateful. Dad wanted us all to dress up and look like missionaries when we picked up Cameron to reassure he had a companion.When we learned that Cameron was coming home, I (Adam) suggested we celebrate some holidays with all the family together. We put together the tent fort, had some Easter muffins for breakfast, and watched some fun family home videos. Nicole did have some bad hair days.

The next morning we all got dressed up and headed up to the Garden Park Ward house in SLC to take family pictures. The grounds were beautiful and we had a great time. Nearly 30 years ago, Dad and Mom had their engagement pictures taken there. We'll post some of the goodies when they are ready, but here are a couple of candids and one original that started it all.

Mom had asked some amazing friends to help prepare a Thanksgiving dinner and they delivered a Thanksgiving feast! Elders really delivered. We will be eating the scrumptious leftovers into next week.We were surprised first by the cub scouts. They had a great sign and Dad took the time to shake each hand in the true cub handshake and gave each a hug. It brought tears to his eyes. Thank you for the wonderful visit!

We finished up our Thanksgiving feast and then decided to go and see some Christmas lights and sing some Christmas songs. This is a long standing tradition where Dad researches the best places to see lights and then we take long drives during December and see lights and sing songs. Sometimes the drives got old and boring, but this one seemed a bit short. We all (10) piled in the car and were off. The Loveland family was kind enough to turn on their giant tree up on the mountainside early to give us some lights to see. Thank you so much!

We then headed home and just as we arrived, our dear Ricks Friends arrived and sang Christmas carols. Again, the tears flowed and hugs for all. We invited them in and we all piled in the blanket fort and Dad bore his testimony of his surety of a better world. Kleenex please.

As we were climbing into the fort, we found that Santa had come early and left kind notes, gifts, and tokens of friendship. It was all just so overwhelming for all of us. We were all exhausted, but made our way upstairs and shared some fond memories of holidays past. We had our traditional nut in the pudding. Alex went first, and got the nut - cheater! He opened a statue of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus. We watched some more entertaining home movies of previous Christmas holidays and retired.
The next morning, we woke up and shared some personal gifts with each other and enjoyed some wonderful breakfast casserole. We watched Isaac play with his new tractors and farm animals, thanks Grandpa and Grandma! It was so fun for us.

We then headed downstairs to cry again at the generosity and selfless giving of our dear friends and neighbors. It was truly a special time for our family.

Thank you all for making it so wonderful. We felt humbled and undeserving yet overwhelmingly loved and cared for. All of God's children should have such a blessing. We can't express the sentiments of our hearts. At one point, Dad was just weeping at the generosity and we asked what we could do to help. He responded that he just wanted to be better. Warmest regards to all of you who contributed to these unforgettable last few days. The Spirit of the Lord was ever present and the manifestation of His love touched our lives through your kind service.

After we gathered our thoughts, Cameron was able to visit with Bishop Mower and President Nilson. We then packed him up with lots of beef jerky and candy from the states while he made a stroll around the block with Dad. Cameron then received a touching father's blessing and they were headed off to the airport to say their last goodbyes. Another Kleenex, or a few boxes!

Dad is drained emotionally along with the rest of us, but doing better physically. He hasn't been "sick" for a few days and is getting used to eating normal foods. He loves to go on walks with visitors and chat so bring your walking shoes if you plan to visit! We've had visitors throughout the day today and for Sunday, please come between 2 and 6. Monday evening, will be family time.

We love you all, everyone a blessing in our lives.

The Losers

P.S. It was Halloween and Isaac did manage to attack everyone with his stealthy...."along came mister crocodile, hungry as can be, and .... SNAP!" Alex did put on his storm trooper outfit and took some friends to fill the pillow case.

Keep It On The Down Low

2008-10-30T00:53:00.003-06:00

So sorry everyone about the belated posting! We have been a busy little family trying to accomplish many tasks in the last few days. Some of you know what I'm talking about, some of you don't, and that's okay.

Dad has been feeling better since our Sunday Doomsday. He's still been sick, however, and has struggled to eat and have the energy to move around a lot. We've been experimenting with different anti-nausea medications and doses, and haven't found the best combination yet - I guess it's just something that we'll have to work at. Because dad's still trying to get his strength back and for other reasons, we're not receiving visitors until Saturday.

As a side note, this evening the Loser boys made a blanket fort downstairs. It was hard trying to make it work, so dad generously gave permission to put eyehole screws in the walls. We Loser children have waited 25 years to be able to make a real blanket fort that’s screwed into the wall. It’s amazing what dad’s willing to concede these days. :)

The Loser family was able to watch home videos in our blanket fort and reminisce about the “good old” days. They were, in fact, mostly “bad hair” days.

Just a brief shout out to all those who have helped us with various house projects these last few days. We love and appreciate you more than you could know. Your willingness to serve is a gift to our family.

Thank you all,
The Losers

"Doomsday"

2008-10-27T13:27:00.002-06:00

Hello all!
Sorry about the late post - we had a "doomsday" yesterday. Don't worry, it wasn't as bad as it sounds.

Saturday night, dad was started on some anti-nausea medication that is highly sedating. He wasn't able to put more than 5 words together, and got to the point where he fell asleep with the cup halfway to his open mouth.

Dad also looks pretty gaunt right now - he hasn't even had a kiddie-sized meal in the last 3 weeks (from the blockages and surgeries. Oh, and cancer). As a result, he's lost even more weight, and we tease him that he looks like (according to the family member): Skeletor from He-Man, Mum-Ra from Thundercats, or King Haggard from the Last Unicorn. If you don't understand any of these references, you're woefully under-media-cized.

Yesterday was a little scary, because dad looked scary (just in time for halloween) and was acting heavily sedated. We sat down, had a family pow-wow, and decided not to go with the sedating medication anymore. 24 hours after taking the last dose, Dad is alert and makes sense when he talks. Basically, he wasn't awake the last 32 hours, so don't be offended if you visited and he doesn't remember. ;)

If you'de like to visit, you are welcome to call and see if he's awake (still sleeping off the rest of the sedation medication). Again, we ask that you limit your visits to 20 minutes.

Thank you for your love. This morning we were again reminded of the tender mercies of the Lord, and every member of our family can say without hesitation that we know His hands are lifting us up and providing us with the strength and faith to continue.
We love you all,
The Losers

The Wonderful World of Narcotics

2008-10-26T10:26:00.003-06:00

Well, after spending a few hours at the hosptial yesterday, dad came home feeling much better. We started a hospice program and right now dad has a "permapump" of a narcotic painkiller in an arm IV that he carries around like a purse. Oh sorry, like a manly man bag. He's feeling a lot better overall and eating much better, too.

In fact, we had some visitors last night that got to witness dad's initial high dosage of pain and other meds - he was falling asleep in the middle of sentences, making some really funny faces, and he told some pretty interesting stories about, well, things that you wouldn't talk about in front of children. You'll have to ask Sherri Scoresby what he said. :)

Dad feels good about having some visitors today. Due to his level of pain medication and the fact that he can't stay awake longer than 15 minutes, we ask that if you'd like to come, you limit your visit to 20-30 minutes. The Loser Hospital visiting hours will be 2-6 pm today, Sunday Oct 26th.

If you have any questions, please let us know anytime! Again, we are so grateful for our little cult following of love and support.

Our love,
The Losers

It's Already Saturday

2008-10-25T11:51:00.003-06:00

Hello family and friends!

After another rough night for dad, we decided to take him to the hosptial this morning at 7am. He wasn't able to keep any food or liquid down and was in a lot of pain. The hospital put in an I.V. line, rehydrated him, and gave him enough anti-nausea and pain meds ("the good stuff") to put a smile on his face (for a little while at least).

Even though Nichole likes to pretend she's a nurse, we decided to get some professional help to keep dad in better shape. We contacted and set up a hospice program for dad to come and administer "the good stuff" today (and for a while), which will keep dad at home and hopefully feeling better. Dad wanted to thank everyone for their support. He's a little out of it from some of the pain meds and probably wouldn't make good company this evening.

When he got home from the hospital, even though he could barely keep his eyes open, he insisted on "attempting" to watch the BYU game. All I have to say is, They Better Win.

Love,
The Losers

Family & Friend Fast

2008-10-24T18:29:00.002-06:00

Dear Friends & Family,

The ward has organized a fast for Dad, Mom, and the rest of the family for this upcoming Sunday. We wanted to invite any and all of you to join with us in fasting if you feel so inclined. We believe in the power of united fasting and prayer.

If you are interested, Bishop Mower has asked that the ward fast begins around noon on Saturday (if possible) and ends during their Sunday meeting together. You are welcome to join during that time frame or at any other time.

Thank you for your faith in our behalf.

As of Friday Afternoon...

2008-10-24T16:21:00.002-06:00

Hello all - update from Nichole:
Things have calmed down as the day has passed. Dad's hasn't been "sick" since early this morning, but we've had to closely monitor his nausea on a scale of 0-10, where '0' is The Complete And Total Absence Of Pukeness, and '10' is Oops, I've Never Seen Anyone Projectile Vomit Before.
(In spite of the situation, it is pretty cool to see)

Dad is feeling weak and has been trying to sleep a lot. As a result, again, sorry no visitors tonight.
We're hoping that tomorrow afternoon will be better - we'll let you know in the morning, if you check the blog and want to come.

Thank you for your love and understanding,
The Losers

Happy B Day Alex!

2008-10-24T06:39:00.003-06:00

Hi all!
Yesterday was Alex's 16th birthday. We had a little party for him at home, and guess who was there to celebrate (or sit in a chair and feel sick)? Dad was, that's who.

After making good progress at the hospital, the doctor said dad could come home last night. Just as mom was filling out the discharge paperwork, dad got "sick" and we thought for a while he was staying the night again. His doctor, however, let him come home still, but it's been a rough evening and night. For right now, we're not sure what's going to happen in the next day, but at least until early afternoon today, Friday, we ask that no one come to visit.
We apologize - we know you love him and want to share him too, but now is not the best time. We will post again this afternoon how things stand at the Loser home.
Thank you again for your love and support,
The Losers

Happy Picture of the Week

2008-10-23T09:51:00.002-06:00

Adam here. Rachel is the blog mastermind and so we spruced it up a little last night, I hope you all like it. We will continue to add more information along the way. I thought it would be fun to add a happy picture of the week. Something light and funny since you all know my dad is anything but boring and loves to tease. What a handsome couple. Maybe I can convince Rachel that facial hair is attractive, it certainly won my mom over.

More Hospital Stuff (Post from Wed Oct 22nd)

2008-10-23T09:47:00.003-06:00

We know that everyone is anxious to hear more and the latest. All that’s going on around here is more hospital stuff.

After a hard post surgery day (Tuesday), Wednesday was much better. Dad walked a lot and ate more than usual. Unfortunately, his bag leaked five times. Normally it’s one ileostomy bag to 5 days, so we are a little backwards. This is due to his belly swelling from surgery and the close proximity of the bag to dad's midline incision.

Dad got to move to a liquid diet on Wednesday - yippie! (Progress to custard, cream of wheat, cream of mushroom soup, and chocolate pudding). Thursday he is moving to soft foods. If that goes well, dad might make it home just in time for Alex’s birthday party!

Again, thank you for all your concern and support. We’ve been unafraid, as of late, to tell those we love “I love you.” We’ve realized how important it is to share our feelings with those we care about. Don’t be afraid to say it to those you care about, too.
We love you all,
The Losers

Day of Rest

2008-10-21T21:21:00.003-06:00

Hello all! Dad has been doing better - still having normal post-operative pain, but trying to relax and rest up.

The ileostomy nurse, a kind woman named Joanna, came in today and re-taught Adam and Nichole how to change dad's ileostomy bag. His stoma was leaky, so it took almost 1.5 hours to change his bag, and it STILL leaked when he stood up! Oh well, it's not an exact science.

Dad said he is feeling up to visitors tomorrow. Remember, no pressure! We know it's a drive, and dad will be home by this weekend, so you can save your gas money to buy him a treat when you come visit him later! If you are in the area Wednesday and would like to stop by for a short visit, again no pressure, you can come between 2-8 pm. He's at St Marks Hospital (3900 s 1200 e) on the 4th floor West, Room #24.

Again, we are continually amazed by the love and support we get from everyone. Thank you for your generous words and prayers. We can honestly say that every member of our family, including Elder Loser in Mexico City, have felt the comfort of your prayers. It makes this difficult time more peaceful and calm. There are literally people all across the North American continent who love Rick, even if they know him only through his children.

We love and appreciate all of you,
The Losers
(Like we tell the new nurses, it's like "Closer" without the "C")

Surgery Over

2008-10-20T22:37:00.000-06:00

Dad went into surgery at 5pm and his surgeon, the amazing Dr. Griffin, spoke to us at 8:30.
Everything went as he had hoped - he actually found two places right above dad's "pouch" that were squished because of the cancer. So no wonder dad was in pain, he had two blockage sites!
We were also very lucky, because instead of losing potentially 5-10 feet of small intestine, they only bypassed 2 feet.

They were able to cut above the cancer-ridden intestine and make an ileostomy - they took his small intestine and pulled it outside of his belly (forming what they call a Stoma). That means he now gets rid of his bodily waste through the Stoma and won't have to go to the bathroom 30 times a day. Hooray!

Dad is very swollen and in some normal post-surgery pain. We want to get him rested, because the more rest he gets, the faster he can come home (he dislikes the hospital - wonder why?)
As a result, we are again limiting visitors - sorry, no Tuesday visitations and most likely no visitors on Wednesday, either. Thursday, maybe ;) Please call Nichole (472-2493) for more info.
Again, we love you all and are so so so grateful for your love and support!
The Losers

Sunday, October 19th

2008-10-19T22:40:00.000-06:00

Just as an update for today, we talked with Rick's surgeon and he is able to move the surgery date up a day, putting us at Monday 5pm. As a reminder, they are going in through a midline incision (5" abdomen cut) and "diverting" his small intestine to the outside of his abdomen. That means he will have a bag on the outside of his belly that catches his waste.

This is probably going to be more invasive than his previous surgeries, which means the first two (or so) days after, he won't be up to visitors, though he can have visitors up until about 4:00pm Monday. Sorry folks, definitely not Tuesday and likely not Wednesday - we're learning to be assertive :) Again, please call Nichole (472-2493) to see if he's up to visitors after Tuesday.

Just as a side note, we're hoping he will be able to come home on Thursday or Friday - they are allowing this to happen because at this point, the goal is not to get him "recovered and healed," it is to get him "recovered and home."

We welcome calls, and we always welcome comments (we read them to Rick) on this blog. See the pencil and orange "0 comments" link?
1) Click on it
2) Leave your comment
3) Choose an "identity" - name/url - list your name
4) Hit Publish Your Comment

We want to thank everyone for their outpouring of love, prayers, and support in our behalf. This is a difficult time for all of us, and it is comforting to know that we are being sustained by our faith in the Lord and the faith and prayers of all our loved ones.
We love you! Please hold your loved ones a little longer each day,
The Losers

Unified

2008-10-19T21:31:00.000-06:00

Quick Update by Nichole:
We are now unified, as a family, in our knowledge of our dad's terminal cancer.
Please pray for our missionary, as he is away from us and can only feel our spiritual arms of comfort. Pray that he will be blessed with the companionship of the Holy Ghost, that he will feel of our love, and will be a better missionary for this experience.
All our love,
The Losers

10/18 email.

2008-10-18T20:00:00.000-06:00

Family and Friends,

Most of you are now aware of the circumstances surrounding our family at this hour. I will give a brief recap and update.

Dad was admitted to surgery at 5. During the surgery, the urologist was able to successfully place stints in both of Dad's damaged ureters. He came and reported that the stints were in and looked well, but would need replacement every 6 months or so. Around 7, the general surgeon came in and reported that Dad had a "porcelain" gall bladder (swollen and hard). It was quickly diagnosed as cancerous. Upon further probing, it was discovered that the cancer had spread to the stomach wall, back of both kidneys, liver, and the ligaments holding these areas of the bowels together. Given that the cancer had metastasized or spread to adjacent organs, it was rated as a stage 4 (end stage).

Gall Bladder cancer is very rare and one of the high risk factors is ulcerative colitis, which Dad has had for 18 years. At stage 4, treatment is aimed at improving the quality of life, not the quantity. There are no cures. Statistical life expectancy is 2-4 months. Gall Bladder Cancer develops very quickly and is generally aggressive; early diagnosis is difficult, especially since all the symptoms are parallel to the complications with Dad's digestive system. 70% of initial diagnoses are already at a stage 4.

We are shocked, blindsided, and emotions run close to the surface. As well, we are reflective, hopeful, and peaceful with what the Lord has in store for us. It will require the very best of our family to see this through and we will draw upon the strength provided by faith in our Lord.

Dad will undergo surgery again on Tuesday afternoon to have an iliostomy where he will have a bag on his stomach to collect the waste. This will improve the quality of life and lessen the pain he is in. We have provided a blog wherein we will update you and post additional information rather than continue with the emails. http://richardloser.blogspot.com/ is the address. He will most likely be discharged latter in the week to go home. We look forward to being at home together.

Many have asked what they can do. We welcome your prayers and fasting in our behalf. Perhaps you could hold your loved ones a little longer tonight in gratitude.

Before visiting the hospital, we request you call Nichole at 801-472-2493 to make sure we can accommodate you.

We will update the blog frequently.

Thank you for all you do.

Adam

10/17 email

2008-10-18T17:47:00.001-06:00

Family and Friends,

After being discharged from the hospital last week, Dad was in great spirits and glad to be eating normally again. He did fairly well this week. The doctors administered some autoimmune medication upon leaving and advised him it would be a couple weeks until the system reutrned to normal.

Wednesday afternoon, Dad had acute abdominal pains again. Rachel and I went out to visit him that evening and he had a good time playing with Isaac, but he was clearly in pain. He stopped eating solids, but kept drinking clear liquids. When I went to pick Benjamin up for work on Thursday morning, Dad was in the shower and Mom informed me they were heading back to the hospital as the pain was back in full swing and unbearable. They went to St. Marks, and Dad was admitted. With some pain meds, some xrays and an additional CT Scan, the blockage was back in place.

This evening, Dad will be admitted to laproscpic surgery between 4 and 6. The surgeon will remove the strictured area attempt to make provisions so this doesn't continue to happen. He will also look at a kinked ureter and some pancreatic issues. We again solicit your prayers and faith.

Will keep you all posted. Love, Adam

10/9 and 10/7 Emails

2008-10-18T17:44:00.001-06:00

10/09/08 - Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you so much for your prayers and faith, your kind words of comfort, and visits to the hospital. We are truly blessed to be surrounded and supported by such wonderful people.

Dad's condition has greatly improved. The NG tube was in place for 38 hours and removed over 1000 ml of liquid from Dad's digestive system. He has been off pain medication since 2 AM Wednesday. He has been able to have several BM's and the most recent X-Rays are favorable though some distention of the kidney and bladder are still apparent. Yesterday the NG tube was clamped off for 6 hours to see if the blockage was clear and Dad could tolerate it. He was and so they removed the tube. (The nurse asked me if I wanted to do it, but politely declined.)

He spent the night and now this morning at 8:33 I just received a text message from him saying, "I just had my first swallow of water in about 60 hours. How sweet it is! Now juice jello & broth. I really am excited! I might get to go home tomorrow!" The doctors will most likely start soft foods tonight and if everything checks out, he will be discharged tomorrow. From here, we still have to address the pouchitis infection and the doctor wants to perform the intestinal scope as an outpatient procedure to give his system time to recover.

We can't thank you enough for your faith and prayers. The Lord continues to watch over us. All our love,

The Loser Family.

10/7 initial email

All, I have been asked to update you concerning recent events in our family and enlist your faith and prayers in behalf of my Father as we endure and learn from this complex trial. Yesterday Dad complained of acute abdominal pains for most of the day. This is not uncommon, however they did not go away and in fact increased in frequency and level of pain. This was quite disturbing to all the family at home. It was concerning that he hadn't had a bowel movement (BM) since 2 in the morning; he generally has 15-30 in a 24 hour period. Mom tried to convince Dad to go to the ER in the early afternoon which he refused and took some pain medication. Mom was in West Valley painting at Grandma's house. Dad called Mom around 6 telling her that he felt he needed to go to the ER. She called me and I drove out to the house as she drove home from West Valley. A good neighbor and I administered a blessing to Dad and we headed to the ER.

The doctors gave him some pain medication. And then performed a CT scan which indicated he had an intestinal blockage near some adhesion which is was caused from scar tissue from his iliostemy surgery. They inserted a tube through his nasal cavity to try and decompress the bowel and clear up the blockage. This would require monitoring and take some time. The surgeon at AF decided it was not within her expertise if the bowel didn't decompress and required surgery. They contacted Dr. Griffin who performed the original surgery in 4/06 and he consented to be the overseeing physician. They decided to transport him by ambulance to St. Marks in SLC which is where they are now and being monitored.

They have been able to remove a lot of food material through the tube and now believe it only to be a partial blockage. They will continue to remove material and once they feel it is clear, they will scope the area to check for narrowing and potential future restrictions and also look at the pouchitis which is the infection he has been fighting for the last year or so which causes 30-40 BM a day rather than the 6-8 he had the year after his surgery. Again, we know you've all been participating in faith and prayers and felt it appropriate to update you on the situation. We love and appreciate our relationships with you. May the Lord bless you all in your endeavors as well. Love,
The Loser Family.

The California Trip Story

2008-10-18T16:59:00.001-06:00

Dad wrote several pages describing our family trip to California. Here it is in all its glory and detail:

So we had a G-R-E-A-T family trip to California- Myself, Michelle, Nichole, Benj, and Alex flew to Sacramento Saturday for the extended Loser Family Reunion last Sunday.Then we met with some old family friends- John & Mary Cray. John and his older sister and younger brother came to my four-year old birthday party! We also visited my Grandpa Melvin Bohall's gravesite, and did some nature exploring earlier in the day. Tuesday Michelle & Nichole lunched with a very old friend of Michelle's- Gay Wagstaff, whom Michelle has been hanging out with since they were eight years old. The boys and I visited a couple of the places I lived as a child, and then in Coloma, CA where gold was discovered in 1848. I showed them where I was baptized in the South Fork of the American River under the Coloma Bridge! We ended the day dining with some other long-time family friends- Rick and Michelle Smith. Rick and I have been fast buds since we were 11 years old!

Wednesday Dad drove us to San Diego in their 32' motor home. Know that we had a truly great time reliving and creating fresh memories! We are so thankful to have been able to go on this trip. We are so grateful for all who made every aspect of this trip fall into place for us- especially for a kind, loving Heavenly Father who not only blesses us with what we need, but also graciously grants those wants which "gladden the heart and are pleasing to the eye." We left early and detoured to Fisherman's Wharf for Clam Chowder, San Francisco Sourdough bread, fresh Dungeness Crab, and Shrimp Cocktail. We took our lunch 23 miles south to Pacifica, CA. where my Grandma Bush (Dad Loser's mom) used to live. At the Pacifica Pier we felt the pounding surf, smelled the sea spray, and listened to the gulls while devouring the seafood smorgasbord. It doesn't get much better than that was! It was all I remembered in the way of sensory delight, and all I anticipated in my little brain!

We left Northern California amid tears and sobs and much love. We had a wonderful time at Mom and Dad Loser's in Loomis. Thanks for babying us and your care and love! We arrived in San Diego in two shifts- Adam, Rachel and Isaac flew in at about 2:00 pm. The Northern crew arrived about 10:30 pm via motorcoach, chauffeured by Grandpa George Loser. We stayed in two condos that were literally 40 feet from the Mission Bay Beach, and 150 yards from the outer or surf side of the mighty Pacific! It was gorgeous! The condo comes with boogie boards, beach chairs, kayaks, etc. Half a block away is the Catamaran Club with spa privileges. This "spa" has just plain incredible landscaping, even for San Diego. WOW, what a setting for the Losers to get lost for a few days!

Thursday we went to the San Diego Zoo first thing in the morning. Dad was excited for this time with Isaac seeing all the zoo animals up close. Isaac (and truthfully Benj & Alex, too) got excited over all the incredible animals, plants, and exhibits. As you can well imagine, many landscape designs were carefully observed and photographed with an eye toward some smaller re-creation in a window well in Alpine, UT. About 2:00pm we left the zoo and Dad us left for the lonely return trip to Loomis. He did not even have a Nuvi (GPS) for company. We returned to the condos for lunch, and Isaac and I napped while the boys boogied in the surf. They said it was cold, but very, very fun! Dad reported in at 11:30 pm that he was safely back home and heading to bed. Thanks for the huge help in getting us down to San Diego Dad. You are our hero in more ways than just keeping us safe and driving.

Friday we spent the main part of the day at Sea World. Isaac loved the Shamu show, no big surprise there. The very same Bubbles the Pilot whale (some 40 plus years old) I remembered seeing from a Sea World Stroller when I was a youngster. We commuted home a whole four-and-a-half minutes and the boys immediately changed and hit the surf again. We have video of bogeying until the sun was completely gone! Die-hards for a good time. From surf to spa and hot tubs, then dinner, two rousing rounds of video Family Feud, scriptures, family prayer, and thankfully and tiredly to a comfy bed.

You know us - so far, every aspect of this trip had neatly fallen into place for our greatest benefit and pleasure. That means we were overdue for some hiccup or another. Saturday we awoke, and after breakfast I noticed wetness from a place on my abdomen area that shouldn't have wetness. Closer inspection revealed that the wetness was coming from the midline incision. The boys visited a surf shop down the street and rented a long board and two pairs of swim fins, and I went to shower. I informed Michelle that we probably needed to call my colorectal surgeon in Utah and report this new development. Dr. Griffin said go to the ER. It could be a tumor pressing on the incision, but the more likely cause of the wetness was an abscess, which required immediate attention. We sent the boys off to the beach while Rachel and Isaac were napping.

By 11 am Michelle, Nichole and I were at Sharp Memorial Hospital ER. One CAT scan, two IV antibiotics, and five hours later the ER Doc said it was at least one abscess and I needed to be admitted. A couple hours later an Internalist said the abscess would require surgery to drain. I finally got into a room at about 7:45 pm and I hadn't had any food or water all day long. Dinner service ended at 8 pm. We called the rest of the family to come visit, and to make two stops: three Taco Bell crunchy tacos w/hot and mild sauce, and a medium Wendy's chocolate frosty and small fries. I was taking no chances with the prospect of surgery and no food again the next day! The family and food came for a brief visit, then due to the small, shared room I was left alone for the evening.

Now hospitals and sleep do not roll together for me. I had Nichole's laptop and an assignment from Cameron for several lists as his last request from Dad (lists of my favorites). How sentimental is that from a 19 year-old rugby missionary? Is he a great young man or what?

His lists are:

1. Dad’s Tips on How Missionaries Worked best with him when he was bishop

2. Dad’s Top Twenty Memorable Spiritual Moments

3. Dad’s Scouting Service Record

4. Dad’s Top 25 Favorite Songs and performers, include Christmas too

5. Dad’s Top 25 Favorite Movies/Musicals

6. Dad’s Top 10 Campfire Stories

7. Dad’s Top 25 Favorite Camping and Fishing Locations

Thus far only two of the lists had been completed. By 1:30 am I had most of the lists finished off, plus a list of Michelle's recipes that sounded particularly appetizing to me as requested by Michelle. After five or six interruptions I woke up at 6 am and completed the lists. At 9 am a general surgeon came in to inform me that they would be utilizing Interventional Radiology, or x-ray guided needles and tubes to drain the abscess. We had made each successive doctor aware of our situation of being on an end-of-life family vacation and had a flight home Monday morning at 11 am. Again the doctors and the staff were all amazingly accommodating and caring. I was served breakfast, which I of course ate on the spot, only to find out that my surgery could not take place until eight hours after my last meal. I was scheduled for 4 pm surgery. The family came in to visit after going to church, and Adam and Benj gave me another perfect powerful priesthood blessing. Then they left intending to be back to take me home after the procedure. I actually went in to Radiology at a little before 2 pm. We were out of the hospital by a little before 4pm, and drove directly to the San Diego temple to walk the grounds in the last hour of daylight. It was delightful. President Hinckley said of the San Diego temple, "If the Salt Lake temple is the king of temples, then San Diego is surely the queen." or, so it was attributed to have been said by one of the missionaries on the grounds there. We returned home to have home cooked spaghetti dinner, discuss dispensing of my stuff after I am gone, and outlining a program for my funeral. It had been another very full and fulfilling day of gratefulness and thanksgiving.

Monday began uneventful. Due to our large suitcases, we needed to make two trips to the airport. Three minutes after the first group was delivered to the curb at the airport, I noticed that my ostomy bag went from about 1/3 full to 1-1/3 full, resulting in the soiling of my entire right side and leg. I was riding in our rented wheelchair, and Alex whisked me off to a bathroom. Of course the handicapped stall was occupied! We finally got in and Alex helped to undress me in such a way as to attempt to keep any additional nearby surfaces, or any of my additional surfaces from further soiling. We left Benj protecting the security of all our bags in a corner of the ticketing area, while Michelle was digging through those suitcases for all the needed supplies and clothing change. We had some items prepared from past experience, but we had never experienced a spewing, spurting stream of sewage like this! Michelle waited until the bathroom was empty of any other men and slipped into the handicapped stall with me. Boy, I never felt so handicapped in all my life! Michelle prepared the new bag and applied it while I laid on the floor. At one point a visitor whom I saw come and go reported a person lying on the floor of the men's room needing attention, so we had a visit from security checking to make sure I was fine. I thought the visitor had been talking on his cell phone when he repeatedly said "Hello, Hello." Michelle was afraid to respond at all, and both Michelle and I had thoughts of accounts of toilet stall sex stings and other such weirdness, so we did not answer. Oh well. All is well that ends well . . .I think I have heard about every pun ever thought up about my "END"!

After another small incident surrounding my "medical" gravity chair needing to be checked at the ticket counter, we all managed to board the plane and come safely home. A quick side trip to my surgeon on the way home supplied additional confidence regarding the surgery and anticipated outcome. We arrived home at about 3 pm.

Our family had a truly awesome and amazing reunion and vacation experience. I said goodbyes to sweet, sweet women in my family, and long long-time friends. Once again we have been blessed by so many wonderful people, and in so many unlikely and unexpected ways. The only thing lacking in the trip was perhaps, just perhaps another couple of days- one in the north, and two in the south. We are more than content and happy with our outcomes and take-aways. We are loved, and it is good to be home again!