"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh and anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." Ether 12:4

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Weekend post, Today- "Normal"

Sunday, April 26, day 189, week 27, month 6 since diagnosis-

Life at home is back to "normal". Michelle and I are both in recuperation mode and trying to help care for one another. Of course family is here and stepping up to meet our needs. Life goes on . . .

I am in some pain and discomfort as I recover from surgery. Pain is hovering around four or five on a consistant basis, but for the most part I am able to be somewhat active. My recovery has been much faster this time around compared to the other three surgeries, I think due in large part to the epidural used during anesthesia. Even having a larger (6")mid-line incision, the hospital stay was much less painful and I was able to rest and walk more and sooner. Both have contributed to a speedy recovery process. Not to say that this surgery hasn't been a setback. Last night I experienced some anxiety about 3:00am. I was tossing and turning and having night sweats. After an early first breakfast cinammon roll and some Andy Griffeth Show, I was able to go back to bed and sleep, though fitfully. I wonder what lessons I still need to learn from all these experiences . . .

As always we feel sustained by your prayers, love, and faith. Thank-you for your continued concern for our welfare. We are grateful for your love and affection.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Everyone is back home . . .

Wednesday, April 22, Day 185, week 26, month 6 since diagnosis-

While in Park City at dinner we had a classic "Loser" moment. All of you are aware of the Germanic orgins of our somewhat awkward last name-
I had created a family logo several years ago, to identify our family, and to maybe at some level push back on society on the hassle any and all of us have received through the years over our last name. For example if you phonetically sound out Adam's name you get the following "A'-Dam'-Looser".

So, I made up this logo in bright, shiny mountain colors, and had it nicely embroidered on several shirts. I like an extra heavy, long-sleeve, mock turtle tee shirt. This particular shirt I had on during dinner Friday up in Park City was a bright white tee. Our waiter early on, stopped as he was leaving and said, "Sir, I just have to tell you I think that is one of the most awesome shirts I have ever seen anyone wearing." We all looked at one another, looked at my shirt, then burst out laughing. We explained it was our family name and family logo, and was PRONOUNCED- "LOW'SIR"! We laughed until we had the tears running. It was a memorable moment in true Loser lore.

Back to the news at hand . . . .
At 2:10pm today, I was finally discharged from the IMC (Intermountain Medical Clinic) after much delay and some infighting between which department had authority over Richard Loser- the surgical team that operated on me and admitted me to the hospital, or the Oncology Team that has been caring from me as a terminal cancer patient for the past six months. in the meanwhile I received a newly prescribed Fentanyl trans dermal patch put on yesterday at 1:20p, had my epidural turned off and capped at 3a this morning, had the epidural removed at 11a, the friendly Foley catheter removed at 11:30a, and showered! Whoohoo! It was all good, as I got out of the hospital fray and was in the warm, bright sunshine!!!

Meanwhile, back at home, on Tuesday, Michelle underwent some minor surgery on her hand. Several months ago in late September, while running she had taken a rather nasty fall on the road. She ended up being diagnosed with 1st CMC Joint Capsulodesis, or Joint laxity of the CMC Joint on her right hand. Bottom line is it was painful, sometimes extremely painful, to hold or manipulate with her right hand. It also hurt to perform a lot of repetitive movements involving the thumb on her right hand. Michelle needed surgery to correct the injury, as it was not going to heal on it's own.

Michelle's hand had been getting progressively worse since October. The surgery is about a 35 minute procedure. After surgery she will be in a soft cast for a week or two. Then Michele will be in a hard cast for two weeks, followed by a splint and Physical therapy. So her recovery from this "minor" procedure will be quite protracted. She doesn't want to be in a cast for Benj & Jackies wedding, so we went ahead and had her do the surgery now. The surgwery had already been scheduled and postponed once. You know how we Loser's are. We must keep life hopping, interesting and planning the next full measure of liveliness and activity!

I was released from the hospital yesterday about 2:00pm. It was such beautiful day to ride home. The weather was close to 80 degrees, clear, bright, sunny day. I was sweating by the time we got home because I had on fleece PJs and a long-sleeve mock turtle neck heavy Tee shirt. I sat in the back yard in a gravity lounge chair and enjoyed the greenery, the spring bulbs, and the fresh air. I also enjoyed the fact that I knew there would be no "ministering angel nurses" coming in every hour on the hour from 7p to 7a to wake me up to see if I was still breathing.

I came home from the hospital with my Father, George Loser. He happened to be visiting Utah from Loomis, CA where my sister DeeDee Evans, and my nieces Megan Wood and Kadee Evans had been visiting for spring break. Dad spent the night with me at the hospital, then escorted me home. We are discussing future travel plans and bucket list activities . . .

I came home to a nicely fertilized green lawn, and gorgeous blooming bulbs of fifty or more varieties, soft pastel purple Drumstick Primroses, heavily fragrant Hyacinths, brilliant Daffodils and Tulips, and more than I can number here. The pond-a clean, clear cascade pond in the front yard with new additions- Koi, Goldfish, and freshly imported Loomis Water Hyacinth. An overwintered California Newt emerged from hibernation, and was in the front Cascade pond already. The back yard Zen pond was sporting freshly emerged from hibernation Pacific Tree Frogs. The Pacifics have been chorusing fro a week -and-a-half now. They have already made several large egg deposits back there. The yard in general, and the pond in particular looks great! A great big hug of thanks and gratitude for all of Benjamin's hard work, and the resulting sunburn! He was all day on the pond in his swimming suit only . . .

Michelle's mother Carol and sister Kathy came visiting with two dinners, flowers, and well wishes. They are such wonderful and kind people. We enjoyed them so very much in Hawai'i. We al remarked as we hugged in greeting that we would all be bak in Hawai'i in a heartbeat if circumstances permitted. It was a magical and fairytailish experience for each of us. Thanks for the love you two are sharing with us!

Then, about 6:30p the entire Young Men's group shows up at our house with rakes, gloves , and grins to tackle our yard spring clean up chores. Weed pulling, dead leaf gathering, Raspberry transplanting, dead turtle removal/disposal, frog egg relocation, and general sprucing up of the Loser plantation to place by a motivated and diligent crew. Afterwards, rousing game of football/rugby was enjoyed in the park out in back, then punch and smores in the fire pit on our back patio. The last of the YM and Leaders left at about 9:20p. Thank-you, thank-you young men and leaders for your hard, prickly, and dirty work in our yard! It looks great, and would have taken our family several Saturdays and weeknights to accomplish all you did in a few hours! You are great and wonderful priesthood servants of our Heavenly Father, and He loves you and I, as a man love you all dearly. Our family love you all so much! You have been, and will continue to be an intimate and integral part of my life, and of our Loser Family life!

Monday, April 20, 2009


Friday night we celebrated my six month anniversary since diagnosis with dinner out. About 8pm I began to feel some tightness and distention in my abdomen. By midnight I was in pretty severe pain. It was an unwelcome, familiar, and escalating pain. The bowel blockage from back in October had reoccurred. At 1:30am Nichole and I left for the hospital. I was admitted by 7am. I was in surgery at 6pm for 3 hours.

The surgeon tried to lapriscope the procedure, but ended up performing a 6" midline incision to get to the problem areas. The doc cleared up several areas where there was scar tissue causing strictures of the bowel. Some of the scarring actually caused the bowel to severely kink, which is what caused the blockage. The doc removed considerable material from the bowel, which was extremely inflamed and swollen. The end result was immediate relief.

I was able to sleep through the night, and by yesterday I was sitting in a chair visiting with family and walking laps on the floor. Today, Monday, I am feeling very good. The doc has me on clear liquids, moving to soft foods later in the day, and possibly going home tomorrow! I had an epidural for this surgery, and I am amazed at how quickly this procedure has been moving.

I feel sustained by the prayers and faith of so many people. Not that this is easy or pleasant in any way shape or form. Nor do we wish to be the continued focus of attention for so many people. But, the Lord seems determined to use us for His wise purposes, so we try to be meek and submissive. We are blessed by a very kind, wise Heavenly Father to be surrounded by His ministering angels. We look forward to some visits at home later in the week.

Thank you for your continued prayers and concern for our welfare. We love you all!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Park City- Escala Getaway

The entire family has spent this past week in Park City at a beautiful four bedroom condo (Adam is the project manager for Escala). From 80 degrees in Kapalua, HI, to snow storms in the hottub and 28 degrees in Park City, UT-
We have been spending Spring Break together celebrating the past six months. We wanted this family time in a relaxing and different setting. These condos are very, very nice. Isaac has really enjoyed the hottub/pool and swimming and just playing with grandparents, Coley, and Alex. Grandpa and grandma have enjoyed a lot of one-on-one time with Isaac. We have been playing games, visiting, and just relaxing together. Life is beautiful, we are enjoying it, and we are a happy family!
We acknowledge that your love, faith, and prayers have helped make this possible for me to still be here! We are so grateful and thank-you with all our hearts and souls!

Note: (At 1:30 am Saturday I ended the week in the hospital, with surgery last night for a bowel obstruction at the Intermountain Medical Center. All went well. I am looking forward to a quiet four or five day hospital recovery stay. I would prefer to postpone any visits until later in the week.
I will post more later with details . . .

Sunday, April 12, 2009

A Treat!

Saturday, April 12, Day 149, week 23, month 5 since diagnosis-

A lifelong young friend, Rick Elder surprised me today, stopping by for a visit with about $20.00 worth of fresh Alaskan King Crab Legs. We steamed half and ate half cold, the steamed part with drawn butter, and and the cold with cocktail sauce. Umm, umm good! What a great young man! Rick seems to know how I feel about good food too! Thanks Rick, for a great visit with a good friend, and for the great treat!

On Thursday this week we received a nifty box from San Francisco- several round loaves of fresh San Francisco Boudine Sour Dough French Bread Soup Bowels and several cans of San Francisco Clam Chowder. Courtesy of my brother Robert Loser's family in Fiddletown, CA. and their thoughtfulness and generosity. We enjoyed the soup bowels that night, and reminisced of the lunch we had at the Pacifica Pier back in November last year. Thanks Bro!

It seems like these steroids I am on would have me eating 24 hours a day. Food tastes great again (the effects of the chemotherapy are slowly wearing off) and I am craving all sorts of things. If you hadn't noticed while in Hawai'i, food was an important element of just about everything we did. We researched and then tracked down the famous speciality restaurants, and the hole-in-the-wall places that were renown for some particular treat or meal. Life is pretty good for me right at the moment.
Michelle & Richard at the Turtle Bay Resort on Oahu's North Shore.

We may not be going back to the chemotherapy treatments. I may be burning the candle out at both ends, and losing ground to the cancer, but my quality of life is so much better. I am feeling truly blessed and able to be doing so much more of what life is all about.
Now, if we can just get Michelle feeling better. She has been struggling with some sinus infection or major allergy issues during and since Hawai'i. I have been feeling better than she has. . . .

Thanks to Dave Petersen Here is a link to a Gmail feature called Picassa where you can view pictures and video clips from our Hawai'i trip. It is like an elecrtronic photo album. feel free to view and download any of our pictures here. http://picasaweb.google.com/Petersendk1

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Continuing where I left off . . . . .

Tuesday, April 07, Day 144, week 21, month 5 since diagnosis-

Kapalua- Loveland Home-
- 7:50am Michelle and I walked the trail to the East end, about 1.5 miles each way
- 2:30pm Michelle was down with one of the worst migraine headaches she has ever had. Comforted her with ice packs and put her down for a nap.
- Part of the group; Kathy, Dave, Scott, MaryJane, and I went to scout out snorkeling locations:
- Honolua Bay in a National Marine Sanctuary and Preserve,
- Mokule'ia Bay (Slaughterhouse Beach) Recommended by MaryJane. (She had snorkeled there with turtles and dolphins in the early morning on a previous trip).
- Honolua Valley Kathy re-named the little valley and trail to the beach her "Jurassic Park". Incredibly scenic huge contorted limbed trees, including Banyans, giant Philidendron vines, rain forest lush greenery. You expected to see Tarzan's tree house in the next huge tree you saw. Unfortunately we ran out of time to get MaryJane and Scott in the water as they had to leave for home by 6:30pm. So we returned home, had a chicken alfredo dinner and sent Scott and MaryJane very reluctantly on their way home. So sad for their stay to end!
Kapalua- Loveland Home-
- 6:20 am First breakfast and scripture study.
- 7:05 am Humpback Whale sightings
- 8:30 am Had second breakfast
- 9:45 am Driving the car,/em> Kahakuloa Village-
14.5 miles east from the house on Highway 30
4 miles of one-lane narrow winding road. First time I have seen 5 MPH Speed Limit signs!
- Passed a seven year old boy with his BB gun,accompanied younger girls. He was shooting chicken chicks in neighbor's yard and proudly showing us his kill!
- I bought three loaves of famous Julia's Banana Bread (one fresh eating, 2 freezing for Alpine), coconut candy, (I have learned to like fresh coconut stuff in Hawai'i), and freshly dried mangos.
- Dave and Lisa made similar purchases from Julia's niece at the "Green Stand"
- Got directions to "Maka????hema-whosit" waterfalls (three miles further . . .)
Lower Makamaka"ole Falls- eight-and-a-half miles further on the one-lane narrow winding road - really all the way to the end where civilization started again, then back a couple miles. We hiked half a mile from the road, past several very scenic pools, wild banana trees with fruits, and surreal landscape! Then continuing downstream, climbing 20 feet down Banyan tree roots, to the top of a beautiful 40+ foot waterfall. Then the long slow plod back up to the car.
- Dave drove the car heading west for home.
- Noted distances and locations of Olivine Pools and Nakalele Blowhole on the way home.
- Lunched, napped then got ready to go snorkeling
Honolua Bay - two miles east on Highway 30-
- 3:45pm left with entire group and all support gear
- FINALLY got in the water, only lasted about 35-40 minutes before getting really chilled.
- Found an underwater digital camera, a Wrist HERO- see to the picture and description to the right of this posting. Some poor soul lost $150.00 camera and the 50-60 pictures on it. Leaving a note for the owner if they come back looking for it!
- back home for dinner, games, relaxing
Kapalua- Loveland Home-
- 6:30am First breakfast and scripture study.
- 6:45am Humpback Whale sightings
- 8:30am Replaced a leaking bag!@##@
- 10:20am Went to Honolua Store for second breakfast, which ended at 10 am @##@!
- 11:05am Left Michelle resting, Kathy and Carol shopping, Dave,
Lisa and I sightseeing. I rode in the back seat of the car on top of the snorkeling gear bag with the wind in my thinning gray hair! It was like a guided tour trip!
Nakalele Blowhole- eight miles east on Highway 30- 60-70" spoutings, huge breakers, Way cool! Way windy!
Olivine Pools- another eight miles east- The surf was too high to get in the pools, but the power and intensity of the breakers was breathtaking and beautiful. I was bragging about keeping my socks dry as I was standing behind a ten foot high ledge when a thirty foot high spray from a huge breaker soaked me. It was incredible, and on video!
Honolua Bay - viewed from the highway above the bay, we determined our efforts to snorkel the day before were about 150 yards off the mark. It was decided it was too late to make another snorkeling attempt, so we returned home to lunch, finish packing the group, maybe go for one last walk on the beach, and then sadly for them take the family to the airport.
Kapalua/Oneola Beach- Loveland Home- Just had a low key morning.
- 3:45am Got up to go to the bathroom, couldn't sleep. Michelle was
awake too. At 4:30am we got up and walked on the beach in our pajamas. There were tiny phosphorescent (glow-in-the dark) creatures in the waves and on the beach. They looked like stars in the sky only they were on the sand. It was pretty cool looking!
- 5:30am Went back to bed
- 10:00am Walked down to the small point at the east end of the beach behind the house and looking to make a relaxing rememberance place. Spent about one-and-a-half hours on a ledge six or seven feet from the breakers. Watched three Sea Turtles struggling in the surge trying to find a sandy beach, but stuck in a rough/rocky surf zone.
Returned home for lunch, and a nap.
Honolua Bay- 3:27pm Left Michelle napping, changed into snorkeling gear and went to leave a note about an underwater digital camera I had found on Tuesday. Then I snorkeled where we had scouted from above and had a thousand- fold better experience! I felt so bad that Dave and Lisa missed the real deal by a couple hundred yards! Returned home about 5:45 for a drive to Lahaina. Missed a photo op for a Maui sunset- dang!
Kapalua/Oneola Bay- Loveland Home- Breakfasted and studied scriptures at the small point at the west end of the beach. I video recorded some messages for posterity. All in all it was a Low-key day, lunch, cleaned some, napped and enjoyed the experience!
Honolua Bay- 3:00pm Left to take Michelle snorkeling! After about a ten minute adjustment period on a boogie board, she was paddling around in utter amazement. The diversity, beauty, and close proximity entirely overcame her inhibitions and anxiety turned to astonishment and she became truly lost in the moment. We snorkeled for about an hour-and-a-half before I tired out and began to get chilled. Michelle could have stayed out much longer, but I couldn't convince her to. We were reviewing a fish identification card that pictured about 60 different coral reef fishes and other reef animals, then gave up deciding we had seen all of them and many more! we then headed home and had a relaxing evening.
Kapalua- Loveland Home- Had a quiet morning.
Lipoa Point- 7:15am Four miles east of the house on highway 30. Read scriptures with the sunrise. Returned home and walked down to the small point at the west end of the beach again to video more messages.
- 10:00am Watched the afternoon session of General Conference
- Lunched and left for the east side of Maui
Kahului- Went to the swap meet to buy an extra piece of luggage for our many purchases, and to check out locally made souveniers at reasonable prices.
Highway 36, the Road to Hana- 1:15pm with the top down on the car and a wonderfully smooth and comfortable ride, we cruised out the road to Hana. Incredible diversity of strange trees, foliage, in this rain forest. There were some taro-like Elephant Ear plants of some kind with leaves three feet wide and six feet or more long! The birds we heard along the way were like you would hear at the San Diego Zoo, or in some nature documentary. It was an encompassing experience. I had marked off several waterfall hikes but I did not feel up to much walking. We made it out to mile marker 17, nearly to the Halfway-To-Hana point.
Ke'anae, a tiny village- We parked for several minutes on the point here in wonder at the sea crashing against shore. We were right at eye level with the surf. The stark contrast between rolling azure ocean, brilliant celestial white breakers, and raw black lava columns and ledges gave pause for pondering. We created another rememberance location to visit in times of stress or anxiety.
- 4:25pm we started back for home.
Wahinepe'e Trail- 5:05pm We stopped and did a short ten minute hike into an inconceivably thick Bamboo and Eucalptus forest. It was a grove of two to three inch thick Bamboo growing 35-50 feet tall. You could not walk through the Bamboo the trunks were so close together.
- It was a long drive back home, knowing we had only one more day left in Marvelous Maui.
Kapalua- Loveland Home- 6:00am Raised the TV at the foot of the bed and watched the Sunday morning session of General Conference. Napped, breakfasted, and cleaned.
- 10:00am Watched the Sunday afternoon session of General Conference. Napped, lunched, and did final laundry.
Took a final round of pictures of the house and yard.
Lipoa Point- 3:45pm We enjoyed one last walk/hike to a small isolated beach where the expert surfers go. Very picturesque, and pristine.

We then topped off the gas in the car and returned home for dinner, during which we had to change out a leaking bag. What bad timing. We missed our last Maui sunset photo opportunity, and it was a gorgeous one too!
- 7:25pm We left for the airport, about forty minutes later than we had planned. Stress was higher than we had wanted. Our Marvelous Maui experience was over. Our flight ended up being delayed from 9:10 to 9:40 so we had a bit more relaxed airport experience.
- 9:35pm We left an unreal Marvelous Mortal Maui to travel to a real Heavenly Home, a journey of about six hours, where loved ones waited whom we were anxiouus to see after 15 days seperation.

The Hawai'i 30th Anniversary Trip final wrap-up
We thank all the family, family friends, neighborhood family, and ward family, whose prayers, fasting, efforts, generosity, and physical support made this experience possible. I have felt better physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I have in many, many months, perhaps even a year or more. I wish to convey a special thanks to Dave and Kathy Peterson, and Carol and Lisa Dickison who accompanied us and shared in these incredible events and memories. Mere words cannot communicate the appreciation and gratitude we all feel to Lynette Loveland for the contribution of her Kapalua home for our use. She has acted so generously that I am reminded of the scripture found in John 14:2-4, where she has become my "personal savior at Kapalua". Thank you Lynette. Thank you Jim and Laurie. We love you.

Of course we know the source of all these ministering angels we are surrounded by, and we thank our Heavenly Father for His love and compassion. He has provided not only that which we need for salvation and exaltation, but He has also blessed us with that which "brightens the eye and gladdens the heart." We are so blessed!