Friday, August 14, Day 295, week 43, month 10 since diagnosis-
Hello loved ones. Time to interject a personal note. This experience is growing more demanding and difficult the longer it goes on. We have been amazingly blessed in a multitude of ways. I have been unmistakenly sustained, most recently throughout Benj and Jackie's wedding week. The goodbye as we sent the newlyweds off to Oklahoma was tearful and difficult, overshadowed by my recent terminal updates.
I, and I think the entire family, are struggling to digest the most recent cancer test results. Although the timing is anyones guess, we are thinking I probably have maybe a couple of months left now. We anticipate a family council on Sunday. I hope that we will collectively be able to reaccess our bucket list and have some new directions, goals, and activities to focus our efforts on. I have been feeling quite at loose ends. Combining the lack of direction/goals with my feeling of mailaise and fatigue (eight on the ten cale) have me in a pretty good funk at the moment. I am working at turning this feeling around! We will keep you posted on our progress . . .
Friday, August 14, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Weddings and Futures...
Wow! What an exciting time we've all had in the last few weeks. Sorry about the slow posts again - we have been a little busy getting things ready for Benj and Jackie's wedding and for all the things that come with it.
For those of you unable to make it to the gigantic luau/reception, it was amazing! The Fotu family blessed us all in unimaginable ways by providing traditional Tongan foods and entertainment, which made their reception one of the most fun events of the year! We loved every minute of it, and dad seemed to be filled with the buzz of energy and life our guests brought with them - the outpouring of love and excitement was palpable. Sorry if there weren't enough tables for everyone, but as I found, the grass was a good a seat as any. Back when we lived in West Valley, our family fell in love with the unselfish and honorable Polynesian cultures we found there. It is a blessing to have their great happiness and acceptance of Benj, who is the tall, skinny white boy who can't do the Haka (love you Benj, but it was still pretty funny to see you on the stage trying your hardest).
The temple wedding was spiritual and amazing and a dream come true for both
All our love,
The Losers
Post brought to you by, of course, Nichole
For those of you unable to make it to the gigantic luau/reception, it was amazing! The Fotu family blessed us all in unimaginable ways by providing traditional Tongan foods and entertainment, which made their reception one of the most fun events of the year! We loved every minute of it, and dad seemed to be filled with the buzz of energy and life our guests brought with them - the outpouring of love and excitement was palpable. Sorry if there weren't enough tables for everyone, but as I found, the grass was a good a seat as any. Back when we lived in West Valley, our family fell in love with the unselfish and honorable Polynesian cultures we found there. It is a blessing to have their great happiness and acceptance of Benj, who is the tall, skinny white boy who can't do the Haka (love you Benj, but it was still pretty funny to see you on the stage trying your hardest).
The temple wedding was spiritual and amazing and a dream come true for both
families. The wedding luncheon was fun and filled with music, laughter, and tears of joy and happiness. And the reception? The American Fork Amphitheater is amazing, and was filled with beautiful flowers, smiling people, good food, and fun dancing. For the first time I can recollect (in my "vast" knowledge of wedding receptions), people came and actually stayed. Thank you all for coming and/or supporting us in every capacity (Benj and Jackie are grateful for all of their generous gifts - it's funny how two young, poor people find such bliss in crockpots and bath towels). All in all, it was a wonderful day that we will treasure and remember, both for the blessings it brought our two families, as well as the chance to see all those we love gathered around us.
On a slightly different and dimmer note, dad went back to the doctor this week for a PET CT scan. He hasn't had one since February, and we were interested to see what it had to say about his cancer. It measures the "hypermetabolic activity level" in his body, which is to say that it shows us the places where the cancer is living, growing and thriving. We found a few places where it has actually faded, but mostly there are new growths, and in some places the cancer has almost doubled. It's on his kidneys, liver, abdominal wall, spine, pelvis, pancreas, and lower lung.
He's been very tired and nauseous for the last few weeks, and we have been feeling that the cancer is progressing faster since dad stopped the chemo. He's decided that they aren't going to seek any more chemotherapy, either. As always, we don't have a time frame for all of this. Sometimes cancer grows in a laid back fashion and seems to take holiday for a while, but sometimes it grows like a hungry and desperate beast. For us, it means that we are appreciating the good days that much more.
Benj and Jackie left for Oklahoma on Thursday, where they will be for the next year while Jackie finishes playing volleyball and her bachelors degree in Communications. Since the doctor visit results came before they left, Thursday was quite an emotional day for all involved. We love Benj and Jackie and are excited for them in their new life together! Please help us pray for them, as we pray for all those we love. Including you!
Friends and family, we are so grateful for the love and support you give us. We could not have made it thus far without your very real spiritual and physical strength. You keep us moving when we get stuck. You're like friend-laxatives, or maybe, Fraxatives :)
On a slightly different and dimmer note, dad went back to the doctor this week for a PET CT scan. He hasn't had one since February, and we were interested to see what it had to say about his cancer. It measures the "hypermetabolic activity level" in his body, which is to say that it shows us the places where the cancer is living, growing and thriving. We found a few places where it has actually faded, but mostly there are new growths, and in some places the cancer has almost doubled. It's on his kidneys, liver, abdominal wall, spine, pelvis, pancreas, and lower lung.
He's been very tired and nauseous for the last few weeks, and we have been feeling that the cancer is progressing faster since dad stopped the chemo. He's decided that they aren't going to seek any more chemotherapy, either. As always, we don't have a time frame for all of this. Sometimes cancer grows in a laid back fashion and seems to take holiday for a while, but sometimes it grows like a hungry and desperate beast. For us, it means that we are appreciating the good days that much more.
Benj and Jackie left for Oklahoma on Thursday, where they will be for the next year while Jackie finishes playing volleyball and her bachelors degree in Communications. Since the doctor visit results came before they left, Thursday was quite an emotional day for all involved. We love Benj and Jackie and are excited for them in their new life together! Please help us pray for them, as we pray for all those we love. Including you!
Friends and family, we are so grateful for the love and support you give us. We could not have made it thus far without your very real spiritual and physical strength. You keep us moving when we get stuck. You're like friend-laxatives, or maybe, Fraxatives :)
All our love,
The Losers
Post brought to you by, of course, Nichole
I think Grandpa George got the short end of the stick somewhere...
Monday, July 13, 2009
Happy 24th of July!!!
Saturday, July 25, Day 280, week 40, month 9 since diagnosis-
Hello loved ones! This is such a roller coaster ride. Each day can be challenging just to get out of the bed or chair and get going with life. The last surgery has been quite difficult to get through with a lengthy recovery. I struggled with pain, energy, and especially nausea for about three weeks. Finally, the weekend of the Fourth was a great couple of days and we enjoyed the holiday with our family and some good friends.
On July 9th we went camping with the extended Loser family to my sister and brother-in-law's (DeeDee and Kerry) mountain property in Sanpete County called the Bighorn Ranch. We took the motor home up to their trailer and had a great time! My other sister Catherine & her husband Jared took our tent trailer up, too. I pretty much laid around in chairs and a hammock and tried to enjoy what everyone else was doing. It was very pleasant and quite enjoyable. The company was wonderful, the food great, and the atmosphere was serene and beautiful. I think everyone had a truly great time and made some wonderful memories!
On Tuesday, July 14th, Michelle and I met with the oncologist to review our action plan. We decided not to pursue any more chemotherapy. The Doctor said that any further chemo benefit would only be about 10-20 percent. Given the negative side effects for me, it just isn't worth the effort. We will monitor the growth of the cancer and when we see a marked increase in the activity we will re-evaluate our position. The doctor is very supportive - at one point during our visit he paused, pushed back from his desk, looked at the ceiling, then turned to us and said, "Are you two okay with all of this? Do you just wish it would end, or you would get better?" Our reply was mixed, but we both acknowledged that we would like him to be able to tell us that we had three months (or some time frame like that) and then we could make definitive plans and move ahead. Of course we know that is not possible for him to do. The doctor said that our visits with him are always easier than he thinks they will be, and he commended us for not seeking every way possible to gain a few extra days of "existence". He said we are doing remarkably well considering all we have already been through. Michelle and I left with mixed feelings once again. Life can be so frustrating!
Thursday and Friday of this week we had a sleepover with the Ricks College Family. All six original couples came for a BBQ dinner at the Loser Home, followed by games, laughter and
reminiscing. Most spent the night, then all were back together for a gourmet breakfast. We are blessed to have such wonderful friends that we really consider family! It was fun and refreshing to be with one another.
Friday afternoon just the Loser family gathered to swim, have dinner, do fireworks in the park out back, and then watch some family videos. It has been a wonderful and memorable holiday. We are truly blessed!
Here are some pictures of the fun things we have been doing-
Hello loved ones! This is such a roller coaster ride. Each day can be challenging just to get out of the bed or chair and get going with life. The last surgery has been quite difficult to get through with a lengthy recovery. I struggled with pain, energy, and especially nausea for about three weeks. Finally, the weekend of the Fourth was a great couple of days and we enjoyed the holiday with our family and some good friends.
On July 9th we went camping with the extended Loser family to my sister and brother-in-law's (DeeDee and Kerry) mountain property in Sanpete County called the Bighorn Ranch. We took the motor home up to their trailer and had a great time! My other sister Catherine & her husband Jared took our tent trailer up, too. I pretty much laid around in chairs and a hammock and tried to enjoy what everyone else was doing. It was very pleasant and quite enjoyable. The company was wonderful, the food great, and the atmosphere was serene and beautiful. I think everyone had a truly great time and made some wonderful memories!
On Tuesday, July 14th, Michelle and I met with the oncologist to review our action plan. We decided not to pursue any more chemotherapy. The Doctor said that any further chemo benefit would only be about 10-20 percent. Given the negative side effects for me, it just isn't worth the effort. We will monitor the growth of the cancer and when we see a marked increase in the activity we will re-evaluate our position. The doctor is very supportive - at one point during our visit he paused, pushed back from his desk, looked at the ceiling, then turned to us and said, "Are you two okay with all of this? Do you just wish it would end, or you would get better?" Our reply was mixed, but we both acknowledged that we would like him to be able to tell us that we had three months (or some time frame like that) and then we could make definitive plans and move ahead. Of course we know that is not possible for him to do. The doctor said that our visits with him are always easier than he thinks they will be, and he commended us for not seeking every way possible to gain a few extra days of "existence". He said we are doing remarkably well considering all we have already been through. Michelle and I left with mixed feelings once again. Life can be so frustrating!
Thursday and Friday of this week we had a sleepover with the Ricks College Family. All six original couples came for a BBQ dinner at the Loser Home, followed by games, laughter and
reminiscing. Most spent the night, then all were back together for a gourmet breakfast. We are blessed to have such wonderful friends that we really consider family! It was fun and refreshing to be with one another.
Friday afternoon just the Loser family gathered to swim, have dinner, do fireworks in the park out back, and then watch some family videos. It has been a wonderful and memorable holiday. We are truly blessed!
Here are some pictures of the fun things we have been doing-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
