Final Post

Hello friends and family -

This is our (breath) last blog post, as our purpose for its creation comes to an end. Strange enough, we began this journey over a year ago, and how time seems to collapse and fold as we recall the life of our father, from his early years to this last year of his life. We loved him dearly, both as the strong man of his youth, and as the man with terminal cancer. What impact those two words had on us 15 months ago - terminal cancer - and what a change they bring.

Together, we begin the new year with a true and honest freshness, unsure of what the future holds. In spite of the unknown, we stand united as a family in love and faith. We feel the presence of our father in our home, and find comfort and strength in the knowledge that we can be together, as a family, in the eternities. We know dad is with us, and that he is hard at work on the other side of the veil (making lists and communing with nature, no doubt).

It has been a privilege to communicate with so many others through this blog, and we feel it has brought comfort and welcome information to those we care about. We wanted to extend a giant "thank you" for reading it and for participating in our lives this last year by helping and serving us, both spiritually and physically. We know we cannot repay all the generous acts of kindness we have received, so it is our hope, as a family, to take everything we have been blessed with and pay it forward.

We want to give another thank you to all those who have expressed their condolences at dad's passing, and we were touched by the number of family and friends who attended his viewing and funeral services. Thank you for honoring his life and memory with us.

We hope that this last year has taught you all as much as it has taught us: practice your faith, keep your friends, serve others, teach, and revel in the wonders of the natural world. Above all, appreciate your beloveds for who they are, and take time to show them you care. As dad expressed his testimony to the end, so now we express ours: It is true. It is all true.

Love,
The Loser Family



PS: The Mortuary provides an audio recording of the funeral online at http://funeralrecording.com ==> Listen to a service ==> Name: (type in) Loser

Obituary for G. Richard Loser

George Richard Loser

05/15/1956 - 12/29/2009

G. Richard Loser, loving husband, father, and grandfather, passed away on December 29, 2009 in Alpine, Utah after a valiant 14-month battle with cancer.

Richard was born May 15, 1956 in Sacramento California, to George Henry and Rose Evelyn Loser. He grew up in Garden Valley, California and graduated from Ponderosa High School in 1974. He attended one year of school at Ricks College before serving a two-year LDS mission in Louisville, Kentucky. After his release, he returned to Ricks College where he met, dated, and married Michelle Dickison of Granger, Utah. They were sealed for time and eternity April 27, 1979 in the Salt Lake Temple.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Richard served tirelessly in various leadership positions and callings over the years, including former Bishop, Young Men’s President, and for the last six years, as Scoutmaster of Troop 1088. Richard was known for his love of the outdoors, from rock climbing and river rafting to camping and fishing. He was a lifelong member of The Boy Scouts of America, and recently received the prestigious Silver Beaver award.

The two most important things in his life were the gospel of Jesus Christ and his family, whom he taught to laugh, work, and play hard. He expressed his love of the scriptures and shared his testimony to the end. He will be remembered for his ability to make each person he knew feel important and loved.

He is survived by his wife Michelle Dickison Loser, children Adam (Rachel), Nichole, Benjamin (Jacqueline), Cameron, and Alex Loser, grandchildren Isaac and Brigham, parents George and Rose Loser, grandmother Della Mae Bohall, and siblings Gail (Joe) Barrington, Cindy Loser, Rob (Gerri) Loser, Margaret (Kerry) Evans, and Catherine (Jared) Wood. The family would like to thank those who assisted in Richard’s caretaking, both professionally and personally.

Memorial Services will be as follows:

Friday, January 1, 2010

- Public Viewing 6:00 - 8:00 pm

Saturday, January 2, 2010
- Public Viewing 9:30 - 10:30 am
- Funeral Service 11:00 am
- Internment at Alpine Cemetery

Viewing and Funeral Service will be held by Russon Brothers Mortuary at:
Alpine Stake Center

98 East Canyon Crest Road
Alpine, UT 84004
Map Link

A time of peace

Tuesday night, December 29, 2009 our Father fulfilled his chapter of mortality. At 5:20 pm he peacefully passed away in his bedroom surrounded by his family. What a special time this is for us. We know he is in a better world and we have faith to join him there soon. We love and miss him.

More details to come regarding his memorial services, but for now a tribute. To my Father, my Dad, my Hero. I Love you.

Merry Christmas!

Family and Friends,

The Spirit of Christ is rich in the air and rich in our home. Though it is quite cold outside, a calming warmth envelopes our home today. We've relived our traditions of the season for one last time with Dad. It's been a great couple of weeks.

We did a little service project for Christmas for one FHE evening as a family at my home (Adam.) It was great fun, and helping fill the needs of others is always so rewarding. It was also great to have Benj and Jackie home from Oklahoma. Being together as family is the best.


Another night, we gathered together and enjoyed some stew and then loaded into a 15 passenger van I borrowed. Then we were off to see some Christmas lights. Rachel and I had planned the route a few days before. It was a lot of fun. As kids, we would often pile in the Holiday Wagon (appropriately titled - our old Chevy van) and head out to find some really well decorated houses and make plans how we could make ours better. Sometimes the trips lasted late into the night, but we loved to see the lights and feel the excitement of the season.


I'm sure Dad would have gotten into the synchronized light shows - we'll just have to do it for him now. Some fun places we saw: House 1 - The best by far! House 2 - Pretty funny.

Grandpa Loser came into town as well, and with everyone around, we decided it would be appropriate to bless Dad's second grandson, Brigham. It was wonderful to have Dad stand in and exercise the priesthood along side his sons, a circle of 4 generations.


We've had an enjoyable Christmas Eve and Day. We spoke with Cameron, who is in great spirits and working hard in Mexico. Sharing gifts and spending time with family has proven out a great day.

May you all enjoy this Christmas Season and feel the spirit of Christ in your lives.

Love - The Loser Family.

Seasons of Love

Hello friends and family,

As I Nichole write this post tonight, (for the first time in a long time), my lips meander back to sing a song that’s been pushing around in my head this last month. It’s from a musical called Rent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8iTeDl_Wug

How did you measure this year? Babies? Graduations? Mission calls? Joy? Job loss? Financial strain? Sadness? Fear? Hope?

How do I measure this year? It’s been different than any other year of my life. I don’t know how I will look back on the events of the last 14 months, but I do know that these words speak a small token of truth:

It’s time now to sing out, though the story never ends.

Let’s celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends.

We were literally given a year, quite unexpectedly, and though the eye of yesterday is sharp and sees the mistakes we made, I know I will measure my year in love. In more love than I knew I had.

Our story never ends. Thank you for being a part of this year. Your companionship has made the story worthwhile.

Yours in celebration of the life of a friend,

The Loser Family

Update: 2009-11-19, Reality Check

Sunday, November 22, 2009 Day 400, Week 57, Month 13 Since Diagnosis
I had a healthy reality check last week on Wednesday. It came in the form of cold, pain, and taking some things for granted. We made the mistake of testing the medications to see how intense the pain really is. By the time we got the pain back under control it was, PAIN = 8, Nausea = 8. I was experiencing withdrawals, and was miserable for about 10 to 12 hours. I learned that I am probably worse off than I thought with regards to the pain overall, and that this pump set-up is serving me very, very well!

I am also having more and more Dear Liza moments, you know the song and scenario- "There's a hole in the bucket Dear Liza, Dear Liza . . . ." Where there is task after task waiting to be done and a failing memory makes even remembering the tasks a challenge let alone how to perform the task. It is happening with medications, insurance, finances, etc. It is just UNBELIEVABLE! It seems like every week I am losing more of my memory and reasoning capability. I find myself standing in a room, sometimes with something in my hand and cannot remember why I am there or what I am doing. Then the discovery moment happens and I recall the steps I had been taking before and after this Dear Liza delirium moment. Sometimes I feel so foolish, even though nobody else is around or knows of my personal embarrassment.

BUT THE REALITY EXPERIENCE is the birth of Brigham John Loser. My visit last night consisted of mostly sobbing in recognition that I have survived my gall bladder cancer long enough to see with my earthly eyes and hold in my earthly arms my second "miracle" grandson. I am blessed beyond my ability to explain and comprehend by a kind, wise, loving Heavenly Father. He knows my needs and my wants and He blesses me with that which I need, and also with that which "brightens the eye and gladdens the heart". My family loves me and is still patient with this poor patient. Our families (Extended Family, R-Family, Neighborhood Family, Ward Family, Friend Families, Etc.) continue to love, serve, and sustain us.



My eyes continue to be bright and my heart is glad beyond belief.

Update: 2009-11-12 , Disconnected

Thursday, November 12, Day 390, Week 56, Month 13

My health continues to be on the slow downgrade, with my weight continuing to fall off (I now weigh a whopping 124 pounds), the edema (water retention) in my feet and legs continuing to build, nausea continuing to be a nuisance, and so on.

Today has been a so-so day, with pain the issue of the day. My pain has been running at about 5 on the 10-Scale, so I have been hitting the bolus about once every hour or two. The pain is not like the old blockages, but is sharp, constant, and running mid-line abdomen. I rousted out of the sack this "morning" at 11:30 am. I felt like I really could have slept longer . . .

There is a list of recordings I want to do, Christmas lights to organize and get Alex psyched up to put in the yard this year. We are scaling back the lights to a much decreased statement in our yard. This has been a really hard thing for me to let go of. I know in the future I will not be here doing the project- it is just that the idea . . . . There are so many of those "ideas" that are becoming harder and harder to let go of; Christmas lights, the landscaping, video/picture scanning and organization, and so on. This "disconnect" from every day living that my imminent death is causing is weird and in many ways inconceivable. I am going along on some regular project or thought process, then boom, the entire process or project is irrelevant because I am dying.

We continue to persevere in our daily activities. We are sustained and supported in our efforts by your prayers, your fasting, and your interest in our well being. I will continue to decline. My death is getting close. It may come in a couple of months or a couple of weeks. No one in the medical field can tell us when, as it is different for every person. They can only tell us what symptoms to look for as things progress. We pray for faith and courage to face the challenges that lie ahead. We are taking each day as it comes and trying to find joy and happiness in it and in this journey. Thanks for your love- and know that we love you!

Update- 2009-10-20

Wednesday, October 28, Day 376, Week 54, Month 13

Tuesday last week we had a regularly scheduled visit with the palliative care doctor. This is the doctor who manages my quality of life and particularly my pain. My overall condition continues to decline. It is easy to feel additional hard spots throughout my abdomen which are likely actively growing tumors. Other symptoms of my declining health are losing weight, (about two pounds per week) water retention in my legs and feet, and poor kidney function. I am, however, still able to drink all the slushes I want!

Right now I feel "small." My body physically is shrinking - my arms and legs are small and wrinkled, and I 'm weak. I've been in some denial, like we all have, that the end is closing in, and it's hard to understand what's happening, especially since everyone (doctors, family, friends) keep talking about what a miracle it is I've lived so long.

We are constantly being lifted up by our many loved ones- family, extended family, family friends, ward and neighborhood family- all of you. We are especially sustained by our Savior. He strengthens us daily. Even so, all this love and support doesn't keep all of the anxiety at bay. Michelle and I feel the ache of anticipated separation. We and the children are working at coping with this drawn out process. Even knowing that all of us will die, that everyone loses a loved one at some point in time, doesn't really lessen the pain of my death. But, life does go on and we are being blessed.

So, we embrace each day to see what it will present, how I will feel, what I can bring about, what can be accomplished. We enthusiastically entertain visitors- please call first to assure we are available and presentable. A kind visitor and beloved friend, Krystal Scoresby was greeted while visiting on Sunday evening with a gushing forth of my bowels as I hugged her. Yes, I neglected to plug my G-Tube, and some of my stomach contents- cold water - drained all over her bare feet! I was so embarrassed, but that is where I am these days. Thankfully Krystal was very understanding. Thankfully all our family and friends are understanding of our continuing struggles too! We love you because you also love us . . . ;)

One Year Later.....

A year ago today, we were all sitting in a hospital in Salt Lake holding hands and saying prayers, coming to grips with the news received the night before. Dad had terminal gall bladder cancer and was given 2-4 months to live.

Now a year later, what a life we have lived. We've experienced and accomplished more in a year than many do in a lifetime. While it has been a different journey for each of us, we have all grown stronger and closer to the resolve of an eternal family. Terminal Cancer brings into sharp perspective the things that matter most. Some items still remain to be checked off on the bucket list, but most are done and for that we are thankful. Thank you to all who have participated in any way in our lives, whether through visits and calls, or prayers and fasting. It has all made a difference.

Surely the Lord will never, no never forsake us. We have been sustained by His almighty hand. We all agree that the time is drawing near, but no one thought Dad would still be with us today. We look forward to what the days and weeks ahead will bring.

In celebration, we spent the day on Strawberry Reservoir with the family fishing with Karl. It has been a while since we all went fishing. Mom and Nichole obliged and had a great day. The weather was beautiful and the fishing was great. We caught 26 fish during the morning we were there. Thanks Karl for being a great guide and friend!

Dad is still losing weight, but is in great spirits. He's down to 130 lbs, and continues to make his homemade slushies and slurpees, which are quite tasty. He sleeps in till about 10 am and then takes a nap in the afternoon. He welcomes visitors and is anxious to give long extended hugs. We would love to have you stop by, just be sure to call first.

The council he's given is still in play. This life is about relationships. Relationships with your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, your friends, your neighbors, and your God. Every day matters in how you build each one. Be a builder!

Sunday, October 11, Day 360, Week 51, Month 11 since diagnosis-


(I have thrown in a scattering of pictures. They are in no special sequence or meaning, just some fun pictures to look at!)

Easy Rider Bethany Wood & Uncle Rick

on Stephen Story's Trike. By the way did I say it's for rent?

We have had a very busy couple of weeks, many visitors and much to do. We appreciate so much the many condolences and well wishes we have received with the passing of Michelle's father. The memorial services were beautiful, worshipful, and therapeutic for all the family. Thank you and know that we love you.

We enjoyed a Family Council on Sunday evening where we SKYPED (see http://www.skype.com/) Benjamin and Jackie into the meeting from Norman, Oklahoma. They are enjoying all the experiences of typical newlyweds. Believe it or not, Benj got a job at the Little River Zoo in Norman, OK http://littleriverzoo.com/! He is responsible for the care of forty of their predators. Leave it up to Benj to score a job like that! Jackie continues to be active with Women's Sooner Volleyball and school. http://www.soonersports.com/sports/w-volley/okla-w-volley-body.html.

Alex mucking out the back pond for winter hibernation

I continue to "enjoy" my liquid diet. I try to "liquidate" new menu items on a regular basis. Cafe Rio's BBQ Pork Burrito isn't quite the same when "liquidated", if you get my drift! The nightly regimen of TPN keeps me going, but I am losing weight. I am down to 140 pounds. My doctor has increased my steroid medication again, so my "moon" face is coming back in swell form, but the remainder of my body is noticeably wrinkled and thin. Hopefully the energy levels will be swelling along with the face!

Isaac on the 200# giant pumpkin, from our wonderful neighbors

I am experiencing a gradual decline in overall health. My sense of well being is winding down. Nausea still bothers me the most. On the Ten Scale: Nausea= 3, Pain= 2, Overall Well being= 5. We still are welcoming visitors- love our visitors in fact. Please call first though. We have progressed to the point in my care that we are no longer really doing much with the doctors directly. The treatment plan is to manage nausea and pain to enhance our quality of life together, as my life winds down. Life is still great and there is much to do and much life to live. Heavenly Father continues to hold us up . . .

Uncle Bill in Little Valley above Wallsburg with a Rainbow

Isaac & Grandpa playing and fishing at Strawberry

Grandpa Ben. In loving memory...

On the Loser Newsfront

Friday, September 25, Day 337, week 48, month 11 since diagnosis-

Hello loved ones. News of note to pass on:

• Benjamin Louis Dickison, Michelle's wonderful father, passed away quietly on Friday. The viewing will be Monday evening and the funeral Tuesday mid-morning. Ben fought a terrible battle with multiple potentially deadly diseases (Congestive Heart Failure, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Skin and Prostate cancer) over the past eleven years, but he has finally conquered all and finished the race. Heavenly Father has welcomed him home. His last words to me were "I'll see you in heaven!" I look forward to a poignant reunion with Father Ben in the future.


• I have digressed to a liquid diet. Almost every time I attempt to eat solids they come back up in a very fierce way. This indicates that my intestines are basically all tumor-ridden and that the cancer has progressed extensively in my digestive tract. I have tried just chewing, tasting, then spitting out . . . it's not very satisfying! I am sure glad, in retrospect, that Michelle had me make a favorite food list and then made sure I got to have each and every one of the menu items. I miss those days of feasting on delicious recipes and many old familiar favorite flavors.


• Currently I am dealing with pain, nausea, lack of energy, and an overall blahness. The pictures don't lie- my weight has fallen to 145 pounds. The palliative care doc has created a new medication regimen to address my issues, and though these are hard things to deal with, they sure could be much worse. (As a note, in the last few days, dad has been experiencing a large amount of pain, and is currently on heavy medication and thus somewhat incoherent).


• We are facing the challenges as best we can. I am sleeping more, but still am trying to get out and see and do. Michelle and I went on a Mountain Trike Ride up the Alpine Loop to view the amazing fall colors. Thanks to Stephen Story (AGAIN!) for the amazing Trike he has parked at our house the past three weeks!


• I am having fun, still! Life is great! I love, I love hugs, I love kisses, I love all my families, I LOVE! Thank you for your love and support!

- Richard

P.S. Ben Dickison's obituary is located on the right side of the blog...

September 2009

The month of September has been full of several memorable experiences for our family. Over Labor Day weekend, we had our annual Ricks College Family Reunion in Wallsburg at the Story's Ranch. As seen in the pictures, running the river is always a big hit with the group. Dad had a great time taking Isaac on gator rides.
Last weekend, we had a family reunion with the Loser side of the family again at the Story's Ranch. They have been so generous in allowing us to use it. Thank you Steve and Jan! Grandpa, Cindy, and Bill & Debbie traveled from California to be here with us. We were also joined by Catherine & Jared Wood and DeeDee & Kerry Evans and their families. Friday morning several of us went fishing with Karl to Strawberry Reservoir. Dad allowed Isaac to help drive the boat and he was thrilled! Saturday morning most of the group took a four-wheeler ride up the mountain and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. The rest of the weekend was full of more gator rides, games, and visiting.

We've been grateful Dad has had the energy to do so many things recently despite the fact that the cancer is indeed progressing. A medical update will follow soon.

Washington Lake, Uinta National Forest

We had the fun opportunity to go to Washington Lake in the Uinta Mountains this past weekend. It has been a favorite family camping spot for the last 12 years or so. We've been going there since before the campground was even there!

We had fantastic weather which has not always been the case. We reminisced about all the fun adventures we had from salamander hunting, to hiking, fishing, biking, tree cutting, bear calling, and many more.

Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa Loser for their use of the motorhome. It made for comfortable accomodations and even Isaac finally had a great nights sleep in it. We played really hard to wear him out so he would sleep. Dad, Alex, Isaac and Adam went canoeing and fishing and caught some fish on Friday. We had a great fireside that night and talked to Dad about some important things we've been meaning to do for a while. On Sat., Rachel and Nicole went out in the canoe and caught some fish too. We did some hiking around the provo river falls and really just enjoyed the beauty of the mountains.
What a beautiful place we live in!

Grasshoppers and Apples on Top

As promised, here are two clips of some of the activities Isaac and Grandpa love to do together.

Rolling from the heart of the house

Hello all!
Another day, another message from the Loser home. Things here are about the same, with the occasional addition of random big machines that suck stuff out from dad's stomach. For a long time, dad was having a handful of good days with a bad one thrown in. Lately, it's been a handful of bad days with a good one thrown in. It's all the same stuff, just more (like puking, tiredness, etc). In any case, it's a battle, and one we've been waiting for and expecting.

Dad is still enjoying moments when he gets to sit down and cuddle with Isaac. Those are some of the fun moments he looks forward to in the week. This weekend we are going camping to Washington Lake, one of our favorite family spots. We've had a lot of good times there with friends and family, including the campouts when Benj, Cam, & their cousin Cory camped out overnight on their own little island and were scared of the "bear" noises coming from dad's bucket (you'll have to ask him about it, and how to make them :). Lots of good memories. We thank you for them. We also hope to make some new and lasting memories while we're there this weekend!

Here's a note from dad:
We have had some good moments, in spite of it all. Rachel brought Isaac over on Tuesday after his nap. Isaac and I and our medical support team (you have probably seen our team in the Verizon telephone commercials), went out catching grasshoppers to feed to the frogs and lizards in the window well. We have a little video clip to post of this. He really loves all of the traditional "boy" diversions. Lest you think grandma and grandpa are totally spoiling this manchild, we also have some very tender footage from the recliner I will be sharing, too (in a while - we have to figure out how to get it onto the computer first).

In spite of all the pain and puking, dad looks forward to visitors - just give him a call!
We love you all and cannot say thank you enough for your help, love, and support.

Long days and pleasant nights,
The Losers

Friday, August 14, Day 295, week 43, month 10 since diagnosis-
Hello loved ones. Time to interject a personal note. This experience is growing more demanding and difficult the longer it goes on. We have been amazingly blessed in a multitude of ways. I have been unmistakenly sustained, most recently throughout Benj and Jackie's wedding week. The goodbye as we sent the newlyweds off to Oklahoma was tearful and difficult, overshadowed by my recent terminal updates.
I, and I think the entire family, are struggling to digest the most recent cancer test results. Although the timing is anyones guess, we are thinking I probably have maybe a couple of months left now. We anticipate a family council on Sunday. I hope that we will collectively be able to reaccess our bucket list and have some new directions, goals, and activities to focus our efforts on. I have been feeling quite at loose ends. Combining the lack of direction/goals with my feeling of mailaise and fatigue (eight on the ten cale) have me in a pretty good funk at the moment. I am working at turning this feeling around! We will keep you posted on our progress . . .

Weddings and Futures...

Wow! What an exciting time we've all had in the last few weeks. Sorry about the slow posts again - we have been a little busy getting things ready for Benj and Jackie's wedding and for all the things that come with it.

For those of you unable to make it to the gigantic luau/reception, it was amazing! The Fotu family blessed us all in unimaginable ways by providing traditional Tongan foods and entertainment, which made their reception one of the most fun events of the year! We loved every minute of it, and dad seemed to be filled with the buzz of energy and life our guests brought with them - the outpouring of love and excitement was palpable. Sorry if there weren't enough tables for everyone, but as I found, the grass was a good a seat as any. Back when we lived in West Valley, our family fell in love with the unselfish and honorable Polynesian cultures we found there. It is a blessing to have their great happiness and acceptance of Benj, who is the tall, skinny white boy who can't do the Haka (love you Benj, but it was still pretty funny to see you on the stage trying your hardest).

The temple wedding was spiritual and amazing and a dream come true for both

families. The wedding luncheon was fun and filled with music, laughter, and tears of joy and happiness. And the reception? The American Fork Amphitheater is amazing, and was filled with beautiful flowers, smiling people, good food, and fun dancing. For the first time I can recollect (in my "vast" knowledge of wedding receptions), people came and actually stayed. Thank you all for coming and/or supporting us in every capacity (Benj and Jackie are grateful for all of their generous gifts - it's funny how two young, poor people find such bliss in crockpots and bath towels). All in all, it was a wonderful day that we will treasure and remember, both for the blessings it brought our two families, as well as the chance to see all those we love gathered around us.

On a slightly different and dimmer note, dad went back to the doctor this week for a PET CT scan. He hasn't had one since February, and we were interested to see what it had to say about his cancer. It measures the "hypermetabolic activity level" in his body, which is to say that it shows us the places where the cancer is living, growing and thriving. We found a few places where it has actually faded, but mostly there are new growths, and in some places the cancer has almost doubled. It's on his kidneys, liver, abdominal wall, spine, pelvis, pancreas, and lower lung.

He's been very tired and nauseous for the last few weeks, and we have been feeling that the cancer is progressing faster since dad stopped the chemo. He's decided that they aren't going to seek any more chemotherapy, either. As always, we don't have a time frame for all of this. Sometimes cancer grows in a laid back fashion and seems to take holiday for a while, but sometimes it grows like a hungry and desperate beast. For us, it means that we are appreciating the good days that much more.

Benj and Jackie left for Oklahoma on Thursday, where they will be for the next year while Jackie finishes playing volleyball and her bachelors degree in Communications. Since the doctor visit results came before they left, Thursday was quite an emotional day for all involved. We love Benj and Jackie and are excited for them in their new life together! Please help us pray for them, as we pray for all those we love. Including you!

Friends and family, we are so grateful for the love and support you give us. We could not have made it thus far without your very real spiritual and physical strength. You keep us moving when we get stuck. You're like friend-laxatives, or maybe, Fraxatives :)

All our love,
The Losers


Post brought to you by, of course, Nichole

I think Grandpa George got the short end of the stick somewhere...

Happy 24th of July!!!

Saturday, July 25, Day 280, week 40, month 9 since diagnosis-
Hello loved ones! This is such a roller coaster ride. Each day can be challenging just to get out of the bed or chair and get going with life. The last surgery has been quite difficult to get through with a lengthy recovery. I struggled with pain, energy, and especially nausea for about three weeks. Finally, the weekend of the Fourth was a great couple of days and we enjoyed the holiday with our family and some good friends.
On July 9th we went camping with the extended Loser family to my sister and brother-in-law's (DeeDee and Kerry) mountain property in Sanpete County called the Bighorn Ranch. We took the motor home up to their trailer and had a great time! My other sister Catherine & her husband Jared took our tent trailer up, too. I pretty much laid around in chairs and a hammock and tried to enjoy what everyone else was doing. It was very pleasant and quite enjoyable. The company was wonderful, the food great, and the atmosphere was serene and beautiful. I think everyone had a truly great time and made some wonderful memories!
On Tuesday, July 14th, Michelle and I met with the oncologist to review our action plan. We decided not to pursue any more chemotherapy. The Doctor said that any further chemo benefit would only be about 10-20 percent. Given the negative side effects for me, it just isn't worth the effort. We will monitor the growth of the cancer and when we see a marked increase in the activity we will re-evaluate our position. The doctor is very supportive - at one point during our visit he paused, pushed back from his desk, looked at the ceiling, then turned to us and said, "Are you two okay with all of this? Do you just wish it would end, or you would get better?" Our reply was mixed, but we both acknowledged that we would like him to be able to tell us that we had three months (or some time frame like that) and then we could make definitive plans and move ahead. Of course we know that is not possible for him to do. The doctor said that our visits with him are always easier than he thinks they will be, and he commended us for not seeking every way possible to gain a few extra days of "existence". He said we are doing remarkably well considering all we have already been through. Michelle and I left with mixed feelings once again. Life can be so frustrating!
Thursday and Friday of this week we had a sleepover with the Ricks College Family. All six original couples came for a BBQ dinner at the Loser Home, followed by games, laughter and
reminiscing. Most spent the night, then all were back together for a gourmet breakfast. We are blessed to have such wonderful friends that we really consider family! It was fun and refreshing to be with one another.
Friday afternoon just the Loser family gathered to swim, have dinner, do fireworks in the park out back, and then watch some family videos. It has been a wonderful and memorable holiday. We are truly blessed!
Here are some pictures of the fun things we have been doing-

Movies, Weddings, and Water (oh, and Puking)

Hello friends and family!
Things haven't changed that much since the last blog update. Dad's had a rough few days with puking and stuff, but he technically doesn't need to eat, so it's not medically that concerning. He's now getting most of his medications via the PICC line, so we know they are working even when he's sick. I guess when he feels nauseous, we're going to start giving him fluids via the PICC line as well, to help keep him hydrated and give him energy.

Things are going well in other areas, too. Alex was ecstatic over the new Transformers movie (he's a typical 16 year old boy). His top 2 favorite movies are now: 1) Transformers #2 - 2) Transformers #1. The irony is that Adam and I used to play Transformers all the time when we were younger, and now it's Alex who talks about Autobots and Decepticons nonstop.

Benj is gearing up for the wedding in five weeks and has been working full time up in Park City with Adam. Speaking of which, congrats to Adam on his new calling. It required the ordination to the office of High Priest, which was a true miracle and blessing (dad was able to ordain Adam and pass on his priesthood lineage, which Adam can now pass on to the other boys). We were grateful to be able to participate in the experience, and hope it won't keep Adam too busy :)

I've (Nichole) been having fun with my aunt Lisa in scuba diving lessons (minus bloody noses. Oh, and inner-ear pressure headaches. Oh, and the panicked feeling that comes when you just swallowed water. Through your nose.)

We are grateful for the experiences that remind us we are alive, only human, and those times when we realize how incredibly blessed we are. Be grateful you can eat through your mouth.

Love,
The Losers